Taking the Caddy to Mountain Time. Part 6

(Say hello to the Chief…..)

        There are certain kinds of headaches, from skull busters, to little nagging ones, half siders, those that dance behind your eyes, there are many kinds and poor Bill was in the process of getting a headache, how it would end up was anyone’s guess, so Bill, had no chance!  All Bill knew was that this one was beginning to hurt, a bit like the kind he had experienced on occasion usually the morning after one of those nights that had been pushed along with the help of too much alcohol, maybe chemically enhanced, probably one caused by both, probably as a result of being kicked  into touch by a young lady who was not interested, all he knew was that this was developing into a pain he had so far on this trip not experienced and one he also knew that for him to try to make any sense of, if this road trip was anything to go by so far, was futile!

          He sat around the raging fire that was dancing away merrily in front of the group, trying as best he could to assess the situation, on one hand he felt like he belonged with these people and so he felt comfortable but what he found most hard to deal with were the blurred edges between, what was his interpretation of reality, and what he was actually seeing, which up to now, was most definitely, far from normal!  He leant back and planted his elbows into the dirt, directly on the other side of the fire to him he could see Mr Young, Bill was, yet again, amused, maybe slightly alarmed at the sight of Mr Young pouring from a bottle of Mission Bell into six glasses, set before him with meticulous precision on account of the desert floor not being exactly….flat, this sight in itself was making Bill’s brain start to boil, why were there six glasses? He could only remember there were only ever four of them, including himself, oh…… and Croz who as far as Bill knew, had not joined them yet, too busy in his shop for a spot of  desert fun, the only other he could think of was Jim and Jim, was a dog, although a nice dog, a friendly dog, a down right fucking weird dog but still a dog and as far as Bill could ascertain not a dog who was partial to some of this extremely palatable grape juice. While Mr Young was still pouring, Bill started to focus, he began to see all before him, in fact everyone sat around the fire, he looked to his right, very gingerly at first, trying to remain casual, he stared at the denim clad legs by the side of him and as he slowly moved his eyes up to the waist and up the body of this person, as he got to a part of the body  where he thought he was safe, where he would not be noticed, the owner of this body suddenly looked up,

         “How are you doin’ Man”, it was Gram, his friendly smile wide enough to uncover two rows of gleaming white teeth, Bill reeled back in fright,

          “Jesus.H! You nearly made me piss my jeans…….again!” said a genuinely shocked Bill! Gram found that very funny, he continued laughing as he leant forward into the fire to light a doobie that was as big as a King Edward, as he drew himself back he took a big pull on the joint, Bill watched him and although he was sure that this was not normal, he let the thought and indeed the sight, drift away from his mind, it was just too strange to stay there….for the moment at least!

          “Sorry Man,” Gram squeaked, blinking wildly as the smoke drifted around his face,

          ” Here, have a go on this Man, this will calm your jitters”, he handed Bill the joint, Bill looked at the offering, then back up to Gram who by now had his eyes closed and a very satisfied look had appeared upon his face,

           “No thanks, I used to,  but that was then, this is now, I’m a different man these days, I reckon my senses are soft enough without the aid of that stuff, although…” he took a deep sniff of the smoke swirling from the stick, he began to take more quick ‘sniffs’, each one in turn gradually changing his expression from that of curiosity to a very knowing recollection, they do say that certain smells are very evocative and this  smell was no exception, he continued,

           “ I must admit, it does smell good and kind of familiar too, where did you get it?” Gram sat up and appeared to be giving the question a lot of thought, and then quietly he turned to Bill and with a nod, beckoned him to come closer,

           “Man, I got it from a friend of mine, Dave!”, Bill looked confused and he looked around him for this….Dave,

“Dave? Who is he? Come to think of it, where is he? “Bill nervously looked behind him beginning to feel slightly uneasy; he suddenly turned his thoughts to the extra wine glass earlier!

  “Ok, you got me, where is he then, where is this….. Dave?” Gram could not contain himself any longer; he pulled Bill close to him and whispered straight to his face,

   “Dave’s not here Man!” he slowly pulled away and collapsed backwards laughing hysterically; Bill looked around him then down to Gram, by now rolling on the floor! Bill looked mystified, not for the first time had he felt alienated, although he thought of Gram as one of his new best friends, he felt the urge to hit him so hard with a burning log from the fire!

            Bill just sat staring into space for what seemed like an age, he had accepted his mocking, did not have a clue why, Gram found it funny,  so I guess…….it was funny, Bill slowly cracked a smile, even this Dave guy seemed to be all of a sudden,  amusing to Bill!  As Bill turned to Gram to admit defeat, he stopped and suddenly, yet again, he became acutely aware of the strange aura coming from his friend, he had failed to notice before, almost like a coating that was covering Gram’s whole body! At first he thought it was just the shimmering glow from the fire, but this was different, Grams movements, although slight at first and hardly noticeable, were somehow looking almost, staggered, as if his body were being bathed in some kind of strobe light, this in turn making his gestures, his mannerisms, look like they were part of a time lapse of some kind, very strange, very hypnotic and yet, quite beautiful, Bill was mesmerised! After staring for a while, Bill suddenly sat bolt upright! Something about Gram had become clear, very clear and with the clarity of the scene unfolding before him, Bill began to feel the blood pumping up to the vein in his forehead with such force, his head yet again began to pound!  In the first instance, Gram appeared, as he always did, weather beaten, a man with a certain impish quality to him, a good looking troubadour, a dude who would be able to conjure up a song or a tale about anyone or anything, he was a truly elegantly wasted son of the desert, Bill hated him, he still afforded him a smile but although he hated him for being the butt of jokes, he could somehow see that Gram was all that he wished he was himself! Then, Bill first noticed, all was not as it seemed, Gram had kicked off his boots, stretched out his legs and was resting his feet…..in the fire! Bill looked at the sight before him, two bare feet playing in the fire, two bare feet moving the red hot embers around, two bare feet making patterns on the floor with the ashes and all the while, his jeans not getting burnt, singed or even scorched in any way!

       Gram looked over to the staring, wide eyed Bill, he could see that some form of explanation was needed, he reached over and slowly shook Bill, and quietly he began to speak,

        “It’s ok Bill, it’s cool, well it is to me anyway, just think to yourself, that was then, that is, I…… come from back then, and I wish I could come back, I want to come back…. but I can’t, this is where I belong, this is my home, this is where I was meant to be, I think deep down, you understand, you have known from the first time we met on the train, I could tell”! With that he gave Bill a knowing wink and smile, yet again revealing his white teeth, he then slowly laid back down on to the desert floor, lifted his arm and began to lower the smouldering joint he was holding, down to his lips, he took a deep draw on it and again smiled to himself, satisfied with his explanation to Bill!

             Bill, confused, shocked but most of all feeling an overwhelming sense of sadness, sat up and began to look hard and deep into Gram’s eyes,

           “Pardon me for asking, but are you……real?

           “Am I….. Imagining you? You must be……you have to be real!”  Bill looked around him for some sort of encouragement from somebody, anybody, but nobody said a word!  Bill turned away and back to Gram,

           “Oh Jesus, fuck this shit, this is doing my head in big time, am I losing it, come on Man, give me a clue will you!” Bill begged him but the only sound he could hear were the crackles coming from the fire! Suddenly Gram began to sit up, he stared into the flames on top of the fire, his eyes appeared to be wet with sorrow, he pulled on the joint,

          “I was real once, way, way back in the day, I was a troubled guy, things got crazy, I got crazy, so did a lot of my friends, I got fucked up, we all did, if it wasn’t for me and my buddy Keith, he was English too, if it wasn’t for him, things would have, for me anyway, become so dark and so lonely!” Bill smiled, recalling the first time that he heard of Keith, back on the train, Gram continued,

          “We were like wild horses Man, more than buddy’s, barefoot sons of the desert, I loved the guy, not in a physical way, we both loved chicks, we shared the ladies if you know what I mean, we were like brothers, we wrote songs together, we played together, it was cool Man, but if you fly too close to the flames, you get burnt and I flew straight into the fire and like so many back then, too many, I just simply burnt out! Gram became quiet, as if he were thinking, the glow from the fire shining against the tear drop falling down his cheek,

                 “So my friend, I have been waiting for a kindred spirit to someday join me, to come say hi, to walk with me, just for a while, because when you ‘aint ready to go but you are taken, you are in kind of a limbo world and you wait for the right person to come along, someone who can see through all the dust, hopefully that person will stay a while and I reckon that person is you my friend!”

         Bill sat there, in front of the red and orange glow from the fire, very quiet, trying to make sense of what he had just heard, he was not even sure if he had heard what he thought he had heard, the fact of the matter was, he was more unsure than ever, he did not know how he felt, he did not know how he should be feeling, most of all, how he should even begin to answer! 

        Mr Young had moved around the fire and sat down next to Bill, he nudged his arm against Bill’s,

      “Here you go amigo, get that down you”, and he offered him a glass of Mission Bell,

     “I reckon you look like you need it”!  Bill looked at Mr Young, then at the glass of wine, he grabbed it and chugged the whole glass down in one, as he finished he wiped his mouth with his shirt and continued staring ahead into the fire!

    “Christ Billy Boy, you should really sip that stuff, savour the flavour, don’t just slam it down, Bill seemed to snap out of the stare,

   “What? Oh yeah, sorry, but I reckon I ……..needed that!” it was then that Bill seemed to remember another nagging question from earlier,

   “Oh yeah, that’s right, yeah…..who is the sixth glass for?”

Then, out of the darkness, he could hear Pam’s voice,

    “It’s for him over there”! Bill looked in front of him, straining through the flames to see who she meant,

   “Who, I can’t see nobody!”  Mr Young put his arm around Bill's shoulder, and pulling him to the right a little, he began pointing across the fire”

   “For him, the Chief has come to join us, say hello Bill!”

         

      

Taking The 'Caddy to Mountain Time. Part.5

.....excuse me but what the hell is that light?

        Pam was sat inside the 'Caddy laughing and joking with Mr Young and Gram, there was a very happy vibe that Bill was picking up on and it led him to believe that they were most definitely great friends! He was leaning against a very large boulder that was probably as old as time itself, but judging from the quality of the graffiti scratched into it, had certainly been visited in recent times, 

      'Expand your mind, smoke dynamite, 

My Mom made me a Homosexual' which had a line scratched underneath that made him smile, 

'If I give her the wool, will she make me one? The rest and welcome shade was definitely a gift that Bill snatched gladly and as he wiped the back of his neck with his handkerchief, a few feet away from where he was resting he could hear a conversation coming from inside the 'Caddy, 

       " What do you think of old Billy Boy, pretty cool I reckon, well, at least for a limey, he's not too sure what he wants that's for sure but he has a good soul in there somewhere", said Mr Young soon followed by Gram's voice which could be heard speaking in an embarrassing ‘Disney Cockney’  accent,

       "Pretty cool what? I should bloody well say so, he is rather a decent chap", Bill was trying his best to stifle a giggle; it sounded to him like Dick Van Dyke had hitched a ride with the group! 

       ”He just comes across like a boy lost, a boy looking for something, someplace or maybe.....somebody? Whatever it is, we should help him find it", said Pam adding her observations to conversation,

       "Anyway, he gets on so well with Jim,  in fact it's almost uncanny, they get on so well together, so if we put the two together,  Bill and Jim should do a good job in finding who or whatever it is, fuck me, if it is a woman I am sure that the dirty old dog will find her for him, if it is something else in this desert or tucked away in these Canyons, then I am sure we will find it for him", they all laughed out loud together the way that a group of old friends do, even Jim the dog seemed to be in agreement with them, he got to his feet, started barking and leaping about, he then started to turn and run full belt towards the open driver's door of the 'Caddy , just as he was about to leap inside, a big hand on the end of an arm that just happened to be covered with the sleeve of a plaid workshirt, followed by Mr Young's voice which  boomed out from within the Hearse,

      "Oh no you don't Jim my boy!, you are a dog, charged with testosterone, therefore my canine friend...you stink and there is no way on this planet you are coming in here, this is a Classic for Christ's sake"! Jim seemed to hang in mid-air for a second, then, like a stone, fell to the ground creating a cloud of dust!  Jim lowered his ears and dropped his tail, he timidly backed away to a safer distance eventually sitting and staring inside the door of the ‘Caddy!  Bill who had been watching the sight unfold before him, called over to dejected dog,

        " Hey Jim, it's ok, you can walk with me, we are a bit of a team, the dynamic duo, we shall ride the range together", Jim seemed to be hanging on Bills every word, his head leaning from side to side, then, rising to all four legs, things suddenly seemed to change about the dog, his eyes started to squint then slowly open again and then almost close, it was like he was going into a trance like state, these changes began to scare Bill, he was becoming worried for the dog,

         ”Jim, Jim, hey boy....are you still with us, Jim, Jimmy Jazz where the hell are you"? Then, all of a sudden, Jim's eyes opened and he.......farted!"

Bill stepped back and put his hands on his hips,

      "Well thanks very much! I shall take that as a yes then shall I?” Jim suddenly came back to the land of the living, barking and jumping with apparent joy, Pam who by now  had emerged from the ‘Caddy was stood there watching, smiling and rolling her eyes, turned back to the Hearse looking at Mr Young who was now also out and leaning against the driver’s door,

      “That ok with you Gram”, he called out over his shoulder,

      “That’s fine with me, the more the merrier”, came the voice from within,

      “I reckon we all make a pretty good team, hell we can take on all comers and not forgetting that the Chief is out there somewhere and the Fairy, Jesus, we are going to have quite a party!”  Bill just looked at them in turn,

       “Am I missing something, did he say Chief, who is the….Chief?” He waited for a reply while the group looked at each other as if they were all waiting for the next person to answer the question,

       “…and the Fairy, who is the Fairy, where does she hang out, come to think of it, is she ….real? Or is she just a figment of your ‘collective’ imaginations”?  Bill’s voice had become very hushed, he was unsure if they were yet again taking the piss out of him, then he heard Grams voice over by the ‘Caddy, he was now leaning out of the side window,

       “She is as real as you want her to be, in fact…..there she is,” they all spun around to where he was pointing to in the distance, Bill squinted to get a better look in the evening glow, sure enough, out in the distance there was a distinct light moving, as though someone were waving a torch very erratically but moving most definitely towards them!

Bill, not for the first time, was a little nervous more so the nearer the light was getting to them,

        " Probably one of those Sundowners you told me about earlier, maybe just a backpacker, someone who has seen us and is making their way over to share a brew ,maybe a smoke that's all, they all turned to Bill and gave him a ' if that's what you think' look, then suddenly, as one,  they became the desert chorus,

        "It's the Fairy!" they cried! Bill looked at the group then back out to the desert, the light was getting near to them, Jim began to do a very low growl that suddenly became a howl, this more than anything scared Bill, the hairs on the back of his neck were starting to rise and the more Jim became agitated, the more unsettled Bill became!  Jim was soon moving back towards Pam, still howling and growling as he went, Pam bent down and placed a hand around his neck and ruffled his fur, Jim looked up  at her then dropped to the floor wriggling himself between her opened legs almost as if Pam was a good place for him to hide!  Pam looked down to the scared dog,

       "I still find it funny, a reprobate like you, some creature that makes a living from being some kind of canine Lothario, is still scared of a female, in this case an entity, not even a real woman", she began to laugh at him, mocking him, then she began to lock his neck between her feet, smiling she looked down to Jim,

       "Never mind boy, I’ll look after you, us women enjoy humouring you boys, massaging you little ego's, when really, all of the time we are just honing other skills, skills that will eventually scare the shit out of you", she then crouched down to Jim, and spoke directly into his ear,

      "That includes you dogs of course"! Bill looked over to Pam, he was slightly pissed off at her comments and felt that he had to say something,

      “That’s a little....cynical of you,  don't you think!  What are you, some kind of Nazi Lesbian, a member of some kind of

League of Man-Haters perhaps?" Pam looked at him for a moment, deep into his eyes; this caused Bill to become very uneasy,

     ”I’m just saying" she said with a cheeky wink, 

     "You've got the balls, dangling just about.....there" she said lifting a boot to tap Bill right in the crotch, at which Bill jumped back in mock surprise, most probably a bit of fright, Pam continued,

     ”However, we also have balls but ours share the same space as our brains!"

     "She's right you know", added Mr Young,

      "We have not even begun to climb out of the pond yet", Bill shook his head slowly,

      "We shall just agree to differ on that one", he said at the same time being distracted by the lights in the distance that were by now getting nearer to them, then suddenly, they just seemed to stop moving and appeared to hover in mid-air but then.... they began to move once more this time in a very precise circular motion, eventually, after a few rotations, they stopped yet again and began to move back and forth as though the ball of light was pointing almost beckoning the group to follow it!

      "Ok, here we go then, we go .....That way", said Mr Young and as he did, Gram slowly began pointing from the Caddy', as he did he chuckled and began to utter some phrase to the others,

     "Head 'em up and move ‘em on", Mr Young turned his attention away from the light and straight over to Gram in the Hearse,

      "Who do you think you are, Rowdy Yates?" he said raising his eyebrows,

      "I don't see any cattle here, do you?" Pam looked over to Bill and could see the puzzled look on his face, she felt compelled to jump into the conversation and try to explain,

      "That's a blast from the past, from television history, you know? Back in the day, those flickering black and white days", Bill still looked blankly at her,

      "No? She said realising that the foreigner was completely at a loss,

       "Must see TV, Rowdy Yates, Gil Favor.....Tuesday nights? no? Jesus Christ William, I do believe that you Brits are socially bereft of all life skills", Bill just shrugged his shoulders and held out his arms, pleading to be let out of his misery, so yet again, they all turned to each other,

       "RAWHIDE"!!! They looked at Bill as if he were from another planet, Bill just stood there shaking his head, and he still had no clue as to what the hell they were talking about,

       ”Christ, he is much younger than we thought", said Mr Young,

       ”Not even a baby, no, make that an embryo", he said smiling,

       "Not even a Saturday night hopeful for his daddy", this made them all laugh which made Bill feel even more isolated, he was so 'not in the loop'!

       "Ok, you have had your fun, what about.....Upstairs Downstairs"! They stopped laughing for a second,

       ”There you go”, he said smugly that makes us about even I reckon"! The laughter started again, 

       "That's on cable about three times a week, shit Bill, you have got to come up with something better than that, a bit more 'obscure' perhaps", howled Pam crying with laughter!  She grabbed hold of his arm and told him to forget about it and that he had to 'be there', Bill just gave up, he knew he was beaten, he knew they were to formidable a 'team' for him, he decided to change the subject,

       "So we have to follow the light, follow the fairy, whoever the Hell she is, let's go the shall we", he said with more 'urgency' in his voice, not that they were all of a sudden against the clock, he just wanted to move on in the vain hope that it would stop them finding more ways to rip the piss out of him!

         They all walked together except Gram, he had taken off in the Caddy', Bill assumed to travel further on up the desert road to meet up with them later, he just felt glad that the trip had restarted, just as they had said earlier, he was now 'heading up and moving on'!

        The plan, if there was such a thing, was not to travel too long, nightfall was fast approaching and as beautiful and enchanting as the desert was at night, if you fell, it hurt, if something was going to bite you, it would and it would certainly not ask your permission first, this was indeed, a very dangerous place to be! 

       Eventually Mr Young called a halt to the day’s proceedings, stopping in front of the group, he raised his arms into what could only be described as a ‘crucifixion’ pose, Bill looked at him, quizzically, he began to feel a little strange, was he now in the company of a couple of ‘God-Squadders’? , Once again, Pam must have realised what was going through Bill’s mind as she sidled up behind him, placed her arms around his waist and slowly pulled herself into him,

           “I know what you’re thinking”, she purred softly into his back, then Bill leaned backwards and turning his head down towards her,

           “You do do you? He grinned,

           “I don’t think so, I reckon you think I am having a religious episode don’t you, well, relax, I’m not, a peaceful, relaxed moment but most definitely not a religious one, I just feel very…..what the fuck is that?” He broke off to stare and to point at the bright light that seemed to be fast approaching Mr Young!

           “That my friend, is the Fairy!” said Pam,

           “That’s right, she wants to see what this Limey guy is all about, so you had best say hello Billy Boy”, said Mr Young as he reached upwards and appeared to catch the light, once he did, he began to cradle it in his arms as though it were like a small child,

           “Say hello to our guiding light Bill”, he slowly turned around with both arms outstretched and in his hands was a beautiful sphere of moving light!  He looked up to Bill,

           “Here you go, say hi to our Fairy friend”, with that he gently threw the glow towards Bill who by this time was rooted to the spot, unable to move a muscle in his body, he seemed only able to move his eyes as he stood and stared at the light coming towards him! The sphere of light stopped,  hovering inches from his face at first then it began to move closer until Bill’s face was completely aglow almost like a mask, then it changed its shape and slowly began to cover his shoulders almost as if it were hugging even caressing him!  Bill stood there completely motionless, rooted to the spot as the glow covered the whole of his body, then almost like long satin fingers, light began to move back towards his face where it moved across his gaping mouth then swirled around each of his cheeks up towards his temples where the glow took on the appearance of two hands, they started to smooth up and down moving over to each ear until finally moving back across his now closed eyelids, they now began to be slowly covered, then with a loud shoosh , the light flew up to the top of his head and with what sounded like a clapping noise, the light then left Bill's body and shot into the air then darted back into the open hands of a waiting Mr Young, Bill promptly dropped to the floor in a heap, albeit a heap with a smile on his face!  After what seemed like many minutes of silence had passed, Mr Young spoke,

         “Would you look at that”, he said cupping his hands over the glow, small swirls of light were snaking their way slowly out of the gaps in his hands and fingers,

          “Christ Billy Boy, she sure did give you the once over, I reckon she really likes you, she is usually far more aloof than that”, he said looking at his cupped hands, “You must have something about you that’s for sure”!  Pam looked down at Bill, motionless on the floor, then back to Mr Young,

          “Oh he is special alright, I do hope he has a spare set of jeans in his rucksack?” she said gritting her teeth,  Mr Young looked over to her then down to Bill who appeared to be just  lying there totally out of it apart from a very satisfied grin spreading from ear to ear,

          “What do you mean…..oh I see, you’ve pissed your pants Billy Boy, not a good look my friend!”

         

Taking The 'Caddy To Mountain Time. Part.4

Please Don't Look At Me Like That!

          After the 'introductions' were now out of the way, although it must be said, in a way that Bill had never experienced before, they began to walk together, naturally Jim followed, sniffing at and pissing on whatever the desert had to offer.  Bill soon started to notice that Pam was not quite as tough as she would like you to believe, confident yes, loud, brash even, but having a big mouth does not necessarily mask the person who owns it! Perhaps Bill was far too cynical for his own good, perhaps he tended to overcook the stew, delve too deep beneath the surface of a person or  place even a situation, of course he was aware of this shortcoming of his, even so, he still seemed to have this inner ability to always see just that little bit deeper into the person and he was convinced that Pam was just another one of those people who was in search of themselves, like him. Bill thought he might as well start the conversation even though he reckoned that Pam would think it more like a line of questioning,

          "So what are you all the way out here for? holiday, sorry,  I mean vacation, look, I'm a 'Brit and you're  are a Yank, a different word but the same meaning", Bill had soon decided to turn the tables and become the question master,

           " I've told you, I'm just chasing after Jim, he knows where we are going for some reason, Christ knows why but he is my dog and as much as it is a pain in my arse, for some reason, I've got to follow him"! During this explanation, the pair had stopped walking and Jim who was at their feet on his back busily rolling in something disgusting, seemed to realise that he was the topic of conversation, he stopped rolling and began to stretch himself out, as he did he farted and quickly got to his feet, began to look around, hoping that nobody realised it came from him! Trying her best not to laugh at him, Pam proceeded to scold the dog,

            "Jim you are such a tart, no point in looking so innocent, we heard you, probably the county too, probably the fucking State!" Jim moved away from them, tail and ears down, then he disappeared from view behind the next pile of boulders partially covered with bushes of some kind, presumably to relieve himself, Bill looked across to Pam, she looked back then raised her eyebrows,

           " What do we expect, he is a fucking animal after all, no manners, no scruples, just a dog"! Bill smiled, he was really beginning to like Jim, he amused him, so much so, he wished that he was a dog like Jim and most importantly, to Bill anyway, a dog who is liked, who is considered a friend, someone who people are always glad to be with, someone who people are always glad to see coming! Bill smiled to himself and with one of those 'if only' looks, one of those looks that is a mixture of sadness and of hope, he raised his eyebrows, then slowly moved his head left to right as though he were shaking the very notion out of his head, making room no doubt for the next onslaught to his senses. 

            They both carried on walking and Pam tugged playfully at the rucksack on Bill's back,

            "What you got in there then, is that where you keep your stash?" Bill grinned at the question and turned to her,

           "Just a few 'essentials', things that may come in handy, matches, a torch, some water, some spare socks and... well, you lot call them shorts but we call them pants", he stalled with his explanation, " why do you want to know anyway, it's all pretty normal, pretty boring really, as I said, essentials", she began to giggle and then burst out laughing, this in turn made Bill feel slightly uncomfortable, he turned away and began looking ahead,

           "Ok,ok, i'm sorry, I did not mean to embarrass you, I was just being nosy that's all, i'm sorry, of course it's your bag, your stuff and your reasons, i'll change the subject, Bill stopped and turned to face her again,

            "I'm not embarrassed, not me, why should I be, no way, I'm fine with it", Bill seemed quite indignant and appeared to be getting a little hot under the collar, Pam looked across to him, then she reached forward and took hold of both of his hands,

            " Bill that's ok, perhaps I did overstep the mark, you are no different to any other man I have met", this comment from Pam made Bill feel even more uncomfortable,

            "What is that supposed to mean, like any other man? what is that all about, Christ you have started something now, what the hell do you mean?" Smiling and pulling herself closer to him, she stared straight into his eyes and whispered,

           " You are all fucking liars!" with that, she leaned in to him, kissed him and removing her hands from his, she sharply smacked his arse,

           "Come on drifter, let's just keep on walking shall we", Bill began to smile down at her and slowly started to think to himself, what was it about this woman, he just could not fathom out, why could he not quite get the connection, this thought did not scare him or alarm him, far from it, he had such a strong feeling that he knew her, that they had even met once before somewhere, Christ knows where, in his head most probably, but he was equally confused as to what it was about him that she obviously liked, if in fact there was such a thing, or was he just wishful thinking, there was just so much going on right now?
            They had walked for what seemed like miles, they had been enjoying each others company, talking deeply at times, then chatting at others, both smiling and laughing, oblivious to the Sun above them, high in the sky all the time creating beautiful shadows all around them, it seemed like the whole place, the desert, was just so clear, so sharp, the whole place was just .....so alive, Bill was feeling the same, he was so happy, his whole body tingled, was this part of what he had been craving for so long? Occasionally they would stop, laughing at some comment or other and all the time he was intriguing her and she was enchanting him and all around them the sunlight danced across the desert panorama, at one minute creating such a primeval scene, it took his breath away, the next would be scenes of such mystery, they felt like a punch to his chest, then before their very eyes would unveil a scene of such beauty, they would simply sooth away at his sences. Bill was by now beginning to feel such an overwhelming wave of peace and happiness, what more was there to ask, walking in the desert with a beautiful woman, a friendly dog, a dog that felt the need to leave his mark everywhere that he sniffed, Jim  was busily pissing on every cactus, every plant and bush, every single clump of rock that he passed, Christ how much urine does that dog possess thought Bill with a smile, he liked Jim!
        "I think that may be your ride  a little way ahead, this must be where we part company", said Pam holding her hand above her eyes to screen her view from the sun, for just ahead of them the big black 'Caddy appeared at the side of the desert road and now the nearer that they got to it they could hear a voice calling out, echoing in the stillness of the desert, it was Mr Young,
       As they got nearer to the 'Caddy, the voice became clearer, it was indeed Mr Young,
       "Amigo, hey Billy Boy, how you doing"? Although he was not looking directly at the two, he had a clear view of them from the rear view mirror, he had by now slid across the huge bench seat to get a look at them, and out of the window, as he called, his arm with that distinctive plaid workshirt sleeve covering it, was waving lazily at them, leaving no doubt as to who it was! The 'Caddy looked particularly out of place now, more than it had before, Bill thought more than ever how much a big black shiny Hearse, especially a Cadillac, did not belong in such a landscape as this, very elegant, but so not quite right!  As the two now approached the 'Caddy, the driver's door opened with a deep clunk from the handle, this  made Bill smile, there were no rattles, no loose trim, this was a rock solid piece of Americana from a bygone age. 
        "Hello again, you thought that I had gone, but hey, I'm back Billy Boy, just like the proverbial bad penny",  Mr Young stopped, obviously deep in thought....."You know what, that has given me a great idea for a song!" Bill smiled and raised his eyebrows, the way you do when you hear the same story again and again. Mr Young appeared from inside the Hearse and was stretching himself in front of them, his six foot plus frame sending out a cloud of dust skyward, he smelt like he had been asleep in the 'Caddy for a few hours, the pungent smell of armpits hit Bill and Pam's nostrils, 
        "No you are not like a bad penny, more like an old friend", said Bill, Pam slowly turned to face Bill and whispered out of the side of her mouth as she did,
        "I think the expression you are looking for is 'like an unflushed turd", this made Bill smile, bravely he stopped himself from giggling, Pam continued as she turned back to Mr Young,
         "Hi Neil, long time no see, how are you?" Mr Young looked at her, he was almost looking her up and down, not in a creepy way, more like the way usually reserved for a parent looking at their child at the School gate, checking the uniform is just right, making sure the lunch-box is present, 
        "Hello Pammy, mmm, I reckon you will do, now, where the hell is that damn mutt of yours, I've got something for him", he was busy looking around when suddenly he spotted Jim emerging from behind a bush and as he in turn spotted Mr Young, he began to run excitedly towards him!
        "Hey Jimmy Boy you old Bastard, come see what old Neil has got you", then he began to reach into a K-Mart carrier bag, purposely rustling it to deliver maximum effect, until finally he pulled out ....a pair of sunglasses? Pam looked at the glasses then back to Mr Young,
        "He's a fucking dog in case you hadn't noticed, I don't think he needs a pair of Aviators!" Pam giggled and flung out her arms in disbelief,
       "Just because he's a dog don't mean the sun don't bother him, 'ain't that right boy", he said as Jim was jumping up and down licking his face, obviously so pleased to see his old friend,
        "These are special shades made special.....for dogs", he held them out for Pam and Bill to get a better look, the glasses had an elastic strap arrangement, similar to a muzzle, the two arms seemed to be more curved and were designed to go under the dog's neck, so true enough, these were indeed sunglasses for dogs! A few minutes later he managed to calm Jim down, he got him to sit at his feet and he placed the glasses around the dog's neck and secure the two pieces of Velcro, he then stepped back to take a look,
         "what do you think", said Mr Young,
         "I'll have to get back to you on that", said a very bemused Bill,
        "I was talking to the fucking dog", said Mr Young adjusting the strap!, All of a sudden Jim changed from being a crazy, lazy old dog, his whole demeanor altered, he began strutting around the  place, in a split second he had become one very cool looking dog,
       "Jimmy Jazz, you are now a bona-fide, rootin' tootin' hot dog", Mr Young said clapping his hands which caused Jim to howl his obvious pleasure, he then began to strut over towards Bill and Pam, barking as he went, this was a very pleased dog, Pam was not quite so enraptured,
       "for Christ's sake, when you have quite finished, yes you look good, weird but good, ok you do look cool but when you are quite finished prancing and parading like some old river boat Queen, I would like to get going, just saying", and almost as if Jim nodded in agreement with her followed by a very loud bark, a bark that said, let's do it, I'm good to go, Bill then turned his attention to Mr Young once again,
        "If it's ok with you, I'd like to carry on walking too, I have got company now with Pam and Jim, so I suppose you could say I'm up for it", Mr Young looked up at him then turned and faced the 'Caddy,
        "What do you reckon Amigo, do you think he is made of the 'right Stuff'?", Bill looked up confused, who was Mr Young talking to, who was in the back of the 'Caddy, hidden from view behind the tinted side windows, he looked over to Pam, she obviously knew who was in there, she began smiling and called to Jim,
"Hey you little bastard, your drinking buddy is here, go and say hello, you baby boomers have got to stick together, poor old Bill is just a Generation X'r, he's got some catching up to do"!  With that, Jim seemed to prick his ears up, he sniffed the air and let out an excited bark and vaulted towards the Hearse skidding to a dusty halt at the driver's door, he stood barking into the 'Caddy, he raised and lowered his twitching body, his tail wagging ten to the dozen, whoever it was, Jim was so pleased to see them!  It seemed that Bill was the only one in the group who had no clue and he felt very left out as he watched Jim disappear inside the Hearse and then hearing him barking with obvious pleasure, the dog soon reappeared, turned and standing as tall and erect as he could, he let out a loud howl,
          " Good to see you my friend, really good", Bill recognised the voice but could not put a face to it, he waited for it to continue,
         "You make sure you look after Bill you hear, he wants to find himself out here somewhere, pretty much like we did, so you keep an eye out for him, I'll see you soon at the cabin on the hill, you know the one, the one that looks out over Laurel and over to Los Cochinos, Jim barked almost in agreement, suddenly Bill realised who the voice belonged to, it was Gram, the guy from the train right at the beginning of this crazy trip! Where did he come from? the last time he saw him he was headed for..... who knows where, just riding the rails as far as Bill was concerned,
         "Hey Gram, it's me, Bill, you remember, the guy from the washroom on the train, Bill the British guy, you must remember?" Just as soon as the words left his mouth Bill knew that they were the wrong ones, they must have sounded so wrong ,so not the right ones, Bill stood there thinking to himself, 
      "Christ what the Hell does everyone think now, I must sound like some crazy queer who travels trains to have brief encounters of a carnal kind with strange men!", not that Bill was particularly homophobic, each to their own was his motto but this needed some kind of clarification he was thinking!  Pam could see how mortified Bill was now feeling and seized the moment and leapt into the conversation,
         "It's ok Bill, you are amongst friends, your secret is completely safe with us", Bill was trying his best to curb his crushing embarrassment,
         " Thank Christ for that, hey! what do you mean,  secret, there is no secret, holy fuck, I'm a guy guy, one hundred percent hetero, it just came out wrong that's all, so.....fucking wrong"! Not for the first time, Pam was beginning to laugh at Bill's expense, as she began to walk over to him and with both hands, grabbed the cheeks of his butt and squeezed hard then she looked up and stared into his eyes, she purred,
          "That's ok Bill, if I was a guy, I would certainly entertain you in the washroom, you are kind of cute", she ended by biting his bottom lip before moving up to plant a kiss on his mouth! By now Bill had realized that she was teasing him, probably about the same time as Mr Young burst out laughing,
          "Ok you have all had your fun....again, but to get one thing straight, I am not 'cute', I'm a Brit, we don't do 'cute' "he said with a wry grin,
          "...and I would very much appreciate it if you would not look at me like that, Pam stepped back and gave him a very exaggerated salute,
          " anything you say.....SIR!" then she bowed her head, stepped back a pace or two and began staring at her feet, beginning to make a circular pattern in the dirt,
          "I was only saying, no offence was meant I can assure you", Bill put a finger under her chin and slowly lifted it to look at him,
          "Saying what exactly", he quietly said to her as she began to smile back at him then suddenly,  she shouted,
          "that you are CUTE, ok, for a Goddamn stuffed shirt Limey, you are cute, live with it, just ask Jim here", Bill knew that he was no match for this lot, looked down at Jim who by this time was sat in front of Bill, bolt upright and looking very handsome in his glasses, he noticed that he was also wearing a scarf around his neck, a scarf with a rather fetching Paisley pattern, Bill bent down to ruffle the dog's head, then he noticed upon closer scrutiny, it wasn't a Paisley design, it was an assortment of.... skulls, many skulls of different sizes and all were, or at least appeared to be, smiling at him!  Bill leaned back and while still stroking Bill's head, grinning he softly spoke to the dog,
          "My God Jim, I bet you are going to light some fires during your lifetime", Jim looked up at him and moved his head slowly up and down, Bill was a little puzzled and began wondering to himself, was this dog...agreeing with him? Then Jim began to give Bill a friendly growl, the dog was, agreeing with him!

      
            
         

Taking The 'Caddy To Mountain Time!"

Part.3               

“Do not call me Pamela!”

        Bill awoke with the smell of the smouldering fire, which was now just a pile of ash but through the smoke on the other side of the remains of the fire, was a dog! He thought it was a dog and through his blurred, early morning eyes It certainly looked like a dog to him at first,  but he was not really sure, slowly Bill started to sit up, “Mr Young, Neil,  are you awake, I certainly hope so because we have company", Bill was a little scared, dogs he loved but wild prairie dog’s,coyote’s,the odd snake not forgetting  scorpions in his boots, all these did tend to make him a bit nervous, not that he had ever met one of these face to face of course, but in this case it was very much a feeling of, if in doubt, get the hell out! As he slowly and as quietly as possible pulled his things towards him, the dog had moved around the ash pile to check him out, a very nervous Bill was wondering how the hell he was going to get out of this? The dog sat in front of Bill, tilting his head from left to right almost as if he were weighing up some sort of opposition, he was not showing any nervousness towards Bill or anyone or anything for that matter, he just got up padded around got a bit closer each time, until finally he walked up to Bill, level with his eyes and let out one almost half-hearted bark as if it were saying hello, then turning away it headed slowly off, out into the desert!  Mr Young had been watching the whole scene unfold,

"There you go, the dog say’s they went that way, we go that way for a while!"     

     Bill, still a little shaken after his early morning meeting with the dog, "what do we do now, you can't take the Caddy into the desert, off the road, it's a Hearse for fuck sake not a Humvee"! Mr Young was now on his feet and stretching his arms in the air, "don't worry amigo, we'll just brew up a coffee, have a bit of fruit ", sarcastically he also said to Bill, "you can even spray your pits if you want but I can't help you with a shower I'm afraid, oh, and by the way, I never said 'we' go that way, if you look, the route the hound  took is only a couple of hundred yards from the road anyway, I'll take the Caddy and I'll meet you about noon down the road apiece, don't worry, I'll find you, Bill looked over to him in horror, "but, but I....", Mr Young waved a finger at him, "that's ok Billy Boy, no need to thank me, just get that ruck-sack of yours loaded up with some essentials and haul arse, see what you can find out there!"
      Bill waved at Mr young as he pulled away and stood watching as  the Caddy made it’s way over onto the highway and began to glide away from him, through gritted teeth and the best pretend smile he could muster up, "catch ya later ya Bastard! He then started to walk back into the desert, he stopped for a minute and swung his rucksack around him and after loosening the straps, he started to feel around inside,

       "shit, if it's not here, that's it, I'm really buggered," he muttered to himself as he began searching deeper and getting more frantic, he began pulling things out, then suddenly he began to grin,

      “Thank Christ for that", he said smiling pulling out a rather crushed pork pie hat! He pushed it into shape, gave it a smack on his leg, and then as he looked down at it, he smiled,

     "Looks like that $15 was money well spent, this puppy will keep me cool and I shall look cool in the process", he said smugly, well, even Goodfella’s tramping through the desert, have to look good!!
    As he walked he could see the highway over in the distance, just the odd car and van went by, a huge articulated Kenworth blasted down on its air horns making Bill jump, he looked over just in time to see an arm waving from the cab, the horns sounded again, what a nice gesture he thought, the trucker must have seen Bill from the road, there was nobody else around, must have been Bill, so with an ear pearling shrill, Bill whistled and waved back at the truck, the driver blasted one more time, raised his arm and gave Bill a thumbs up and then accelerated away down the road. Bill liked the fact that these people, drivers, truckers, all total strangers, all seemed to be interested in...Him, perhaps they were just looking at another weirdo aimlessly walking in the desert, he smiled as he walked, and I suppose he did look a little strange!
      As he walked he came across some very strange litter dotted about, "what the fuck is that doing here", he said to himself as he stopped and began to stare at a toilet bowl complete with a cracked  cistern, "who would come all the way out here to dispose of a toilet!" As he moved nearer to take a better look, he burst out laughing, some wag had scrawled all across the cistern in black marker pen,
  'It is illegal to dump along the highway!'
      The 'schoolboy' curiosity within him somehow compelled him to lift up the seat, so with a handy piece of what looked like a chair leg lying nearby, he flicked it open and gingerly peered in! Once again he crumpled and was reduced to the sort of laughter a woman would hate, a woman would just not see the funny side, for there inside, scrawled on an old piece of cardboard,
"Drifters take advantage!
An hour from now, you'd wish you had taken the time to have one!" His mother had always said that he had a naughty, even crude sense of humour, and he certainly was very amused, he dropped the toilet seat lid with a dusty crash, he thought to himself, how such a simple comment could be so effective, some people are just born to make the hardest hearts smile!
    Bill had been walking a little over an hour, that great big golden ball was by now right overhead, burning brightly in the pristine blue sky, he was so thankful for bringing the hat! It wasn't long before Bill stopped to take a much needed swig from one of the bottles of water, as he wiped his mouth and screwed the cap back on the bottle something caught his eye, something in the distance was glinting in the sun! Being somebody who is naturally nosey, he altered his route a little in order to get nearer to where this latest curiosity was coming from, this took him a little further away from the highway, not that he was too bothered because he was still in sight of the road and occasional traffic, he could still be seen and heard if necessary, so he was happy and carried on. For a while he lost sight of whatever it was and was about to give it up as a lost cause when  suddenly, he saw the glint again, not in the same place as before, this time it seemed to be closer  to the course that he had been taking earlier! Bill stopped and began to survey this new route, he looked to where he thought it was coming from and he then realised that he was not looking for something anymore but he was obviously looking for somebody, the glinting appeared to be moving! No point in rushing he thought, too hot for that so he had another swig from his water bottle, he felt safe in the knowledge that he would be catching up with Mr Young later so although he was careful not to waste any water, it was a gulp not a sip! He carried on walking whilst screwing the cap back on the bottle; he then swung the ruck sack around to put the bottle away,

    "Hey Man, any chance of a glug on your bottle before you put it away!" Startled, Bill nearly dropped it on the floor,

    "Jesus, you scared the shit out of me, where did you come from, more to the point, who the fuck are you!" He said stepping back defensively,          "Hey Man, calm down, we are all friends out here!" Bill apologised for his rudeness but just the same, he still eyed the visitor up and down with a little suspicion, holding out his hand, he continued,

 "Must be something about being out here, in the desert," he also muttered under his breath,

    "I suppose it goes hand in hand with the rest of the crazy shit going on these last few days," the stranger introduced himself,

"That's ok Man, my fault, should have phoned you first," with that he burst out laughing, Bill tentatively joined in with the laughter then abruptly stopped, realising that the two had never met before, how the hell would he know his number, this guy was taking the piss, he started getting a little nervous, who was this guy, for all he knew he was a throwback of some kind,  was he a chromosome defect like the hillbilly weirdos in The Hills Have Eyes, he  began thinking on his feet, a vision entered his head, he became alarmed, why was Charles Manson for some reason coming to mind? Was this guy a lost follower perhaps, one of the dune buggy raiders he had read about so often,  Bill began to smile at the absurdity of that thought and he began to mock himself,

"Bill, you are such a dick sometimes, this guy has got a guitar strapped to his back not a fucking meat hook!" He offered the bottle to the stranger, "fill your boots, I've got another one in my bag and I'm going to be picked up in a couple of hours," he said hopefully!

"Appreciate that Man, I'd ask you for a light but you don't look like a smoker to me somehow", Bill looked at the man,

 "au contraire mon ami, what is it they say, once a Boy Scout, always yadda yadda", he then threw his bag over his shoulder and quickly undid the buckle on the side pocket, after feeling around for a couple of seconds, as if he was performing a trick of some kind he tossed the box of matches into the air and caught it as it came down, this was the matches  that he picked up at Crosby's Store,  a huge ear to ear grin appeared on the strangers face,

  "Oh Man, the boy, by that I mean you my friend, you done good", and he gladly took the box.
          "The name is Ron but most call me Rocket, that's me, Rocket Ron, pretty cool yeah"! Slightly baffled although the way this trip was shaping up, nothing surprised Bill anymore,

        "Why do they call you that", Bill enquired just as the smell of a fresh match mixed with the smoke that Ron was blowing into the air started to drift over towards him,

     "I do tend to look to the heavens Man, the sky, the moon and the stars," he inhaled deeply and the way he spoke did not leave much to the imagination,

    "fuck Man, I just love the stars," he offered Bill a toke on a joint as big as a carrot, normally he would join him but he felt that clarity was the order of the day, for now at least., politely he refused,

   "Too early for me Man but thanks anyway", Ron had just sucked in another lungful,

   "Whenever you are ready, you just got to ask, maybe we can check out the old stars together," Bill smiled and nodded his gratitude,

   "I may just do that, if it's good for you, I may join you later".
    They walked together for some distance, truth be told Bill was glad of the company, Ron was certainly good company that's for sure! He was a person that was almost impossible to age, he looked a bit older than Bill but much younger than Mr Young, he had long hair more to the point , he still had a good amount of hair too unlike Bill who had said goodbye to his many years ago, they did have one thing in common, both had a moustache, however it may have been the lack of hair on his head that made Bill keep it nicely manicured, unlike his new companion whose hair was kept in check with a band around the middle of his head a la Willie Nelson  and his moustache had grown very long, not unruly,  his appearance reminded Bill of one of the guys who was  in that great band exported from home, Foghat,  many years ago, Christ he thought, this guy is just a walking cliché but then again, he could not see a Dead Head badge anywhere, he sniggered to himself, perhaps he has one tattooed on his arse, next to  the Woodstock dove!

          Almost as quickly as he had appeared, Ron was bidding farewell,

 "You seem to know where you're going my friend, so I will see you in a while, take it easy, give my regards to old Neil will ya and thanks for the matches and the water," with that he altered his course and began to head off into the desert. After a while he disappeared from view and as far as Bill was concerned, Ron was just another ingredient to this...whatever it was, journey of discovery!
        Bill was starting to enjoy his own company, the going was not too tough, it was hot but bearable and Bill was making steady progress, things were to change yet again, shortly he had yet another visitor!  Walking close by to him he noticed that the dog from earlier that morning had made another appearance, it was looking straight ahead not over to Bill almost as if he knew Bill was there but was not at all bothered. Bill seemed to feel comfortable this time, they knew each other and more to the point the dog was walking with purpose, to where and to whom, who knew? The further they walked, the closer the distance apart the two became until they were walking side by side, Bill looked down and the dog looked back to him, then turned his head and carried on, there was definitely some kind of empathy between the two travellers and Bill felt more at ease now with the dog being there, certainly more comfortable than he had earlier.  Even so, he had also kept hold of that old chair leg from earlier, originally he had just picked it up as some kind of desert memorabilia, he realised that many travellers grab a handful of dirt as a keepsake or pick up some leaves or maybe a flower but then again he thought, the chair leg would look better hanging on a wall than some dirt in a jar in a cupboard, his attention switched back to the dog. He was now convinced it was a dog, just a mutt who close up was not wild or vicious and not even mangy looking, well fed and in what to him looked good condition, how did it get here, who did it belong to? Suddenly they both stopped, both had heard the same thing, both had heard the same…person!
    The cry was quite a surprise to hear and Bill stopped walking to have another listen,
    "Jim, Jim, here boy, Jim, Jimmy Jazz, where the fuck are you? The voice was getting a little more insistent and it was starting to sound obviously, very annoyed, "talk about give the dog a fucking bone, man’s best friend my arse....oh, sorry about that, didn't see you there, you 'ain't seen my dog have you? There before him suddenly appeared a woman, obviously a woman who was extremely pissed off but this did not hide her appearance, her very obvious natural beauty, Bill was a little lost for words!
   "Hi, I'm Bill, nice but....very strange if those are the right words to use, but still, nice to meet you, I believe this fella is Jim,  am I right?" he said pointing to the dog next to him who by this time had started to bark, a knowing, happy bark, not a fearsome bark,
  "Hi, I'm Pam or Pammy but not Pamela ok, do not call me Pamela, only my mother calls me Pamela!" Bill, a little nervous at her forthright attitude, speaking slowly,  he continued, “Hey that's cool with me....Pam", bravely thinking he was out of ear shot he mouthed, or Pamela! Pam moved in close to his face, she whispered, "I said do not call me Pamela", and sarcastically she finished by saying "William is it"! He smiled, he was not at all bothered but he thought it best to humour her, she turned her annoyance back towards the dog,

   "Jim, for fucks sake, when I call you I mean, like now,ok!" She continued her verbal assault on the hound,

   "you always were and it looks like you always will be a total shit, a lone gun, a renegade, an all-round, complete and utter bastard, why I look out for you is beyond me!" the dog laid down and seemed to be covering his eyes with one of his paws, he started to howl almost as though he were crying, like a scolded child, Pam looked up and with a deep sigh, "do you know what, fuck you Jim", then looking over to Bill, "hey buddy boy or whatever the hell your name is, you want a dog, he's yours!" Looking back to the dog and wagging a finger at the howling creature who by this time had rolled onto his back,

  "Jim you have ripped my shitter once too often, Jim, this is the end!” When he heard that statement, Bill suddenly looked up at Pam then back to Jim and then back to Pam in quick succession, he muttered under his breath,

  "I thought this journey was becoming normal but now, I’m not so sure!" He tried to calm her down hoping to bring some rationality to the table but mostly because he was scared stiff about being lumbered with the dog,
    "Calm down, let's not get to hasty here, old Jim here looks very sorry and I am sure he begs your forgiveness, don't you Jim," he said looking at the dog and nodding at him almost willing him to agree, Jim looked up at him with one of those dumb looks that dogs do to get away with anything,
      Out of nowhere, Pam decided to give an explanation about her and Jim,

  "Well what did I expect, he is a French dog! I took a year out in Europe a couple of years ago, I was an au pair in Italy, I picked olives and tomatoes in Greece and then I was in Germany for a while teaching English in a private school, saved up all my money and decided to make my way back to the States, not before I stopped off in France, got to Paris and did a little bar work, that’s where we met, he was a stray wandering alone, I was the sucker he was looking for,  I fed him and made a fuss of him, fucking worst thing I ever did, huge mistake, I mean massive,  because this sad eyed little bastard liked all the fuss and attention so much, he adopted me, we hit it off straight away, in the beginning that is, so later, when I decided to return Stateside, I paid the quarantine fees and shipped him over with me,  been chasing after him ever since, Bastard," the dog yelped out what was almost an apology, "he's a handsome brute and I'm sure he does not mean to put you to all of this trouble", said Bill kneeling down to stoke Jim,

" oh yeah he's a looker alright, he jumps any fence to fulfil his needs, he screws any bitch that comes near him and believe me, they all do, he has left his mark all over, there must be hundreds of little Jim's everywhere!". Bill trying his best not to laugh thinking about all these little Jim's running around and at the same time trying to come to terms with Pam's 'colourful' language, this was proving to be not at all easy especially as she was such an attractive woman, such a very attractive woman and the wonderful turns of phrase she used, did not seem to go together, not that he minded, just that she was not what he was expecting!
    "Ok Bill or whatever you call yourself, I'm all ears, so tell me all about yourself!" Bill was suddenly very confused, why did such a gorgeous creature as Pam want to know anything about him, it made no sense at all, he was flattered but wary of her interest! 
      "Well, if you insist, I'll give it a go, just for you," as he mustered up some pages from his back catalogue, he looked over to Pam," she was by this time staring straight at him, Bill was slightly unnerved by her apparent interest in him all of a sudden, she cocked her head to one side, her eyes behind a pair of blue tinted sunglasses, a straw Stetson on her head, covering her shoulder length blonde hair, she was wearing a white, cheese cloth blouse under a denim waistcoat covered in more enamel badges than he cared to read, she was obviously on a crusade to save just about everything, this hippy chick ensemble was complimented by a pair of Levi jeans that could have been painted on, he felt awkward, his eyes were looking everywhere but directly at her, Christ he thought, "I'm English and it is so rude to stare but Christ she is gorgeous!" He continued,
    "My name is Bill, I'm from England, which is way over there," he said turning and pointing behind him, Pam was still staring into his eyes, 
    "Carry on, I fucking know where England is and it is not over there, it's that way," she said pointing in the opposite direction, Bill apologised and continued,
  "I'm in my.....you work out how old I am, a little older than you anyway, I suppose I have come looking for something or somebody, maybe I want to find the thing or things that are missing in my life," he suddenly felt like a child who was explaining himself to a Policeman, he looked down to the ground and began to make a pattern in the dirt with his boot, Pam suddenly grabbed both of his hands and as she gripped them she began to make swirling pattern with her thumbs in the palm of each of his hands, he slowly started to raise his head and was soon staring straight into Pam's eyes, she had tilted her hat skyward, she then pulled him closer to her,
    " best we try and find whatever it is then," she whispered in his ear, Bill stepped back and looking straight at her, struggling for the right words, he came out with one of those sentences that always seem right at the time but sound dumb as hell,
    "Have you got the time to spare, I know I have but....", with that once again she pulled him into her and began to kiss him, Bill was shocked, pleasantly so but very shocked,
    "Will you shut your mouth for a minute, quit the talk and just kiss me....please!  and close your eyes, you are making me nervous", she said to him,
    "I'm  making you nervous Bill thought to himself, I've never met someone so 'not nervous' in my life. Bill’s journey had taken yet another turn, was this person, Pam, for real, did he know Jim, had they met before somewhere, as they continued to kiss, the sweet pain in his head, was getting…. sweeter!