Taking The 'Caddy To Mountain Time. Part.4

Please Don't Look At Me Like That!

          After the 'introductions' were now out of the way, although it must be said, in a way that Bill had never experienced before, they began to walk together, naturally Jim followed, sniffing at and pissing on whatever the desert had to offer.  Bill soon started to notice that Pam was not quite as tough as she would like you to believe, confident yes, loud, brash even, but having a big mouth does not necessarily mask the person who owns it! Perhaps Bill was far too cynical for his own good, perhaps he tended to overcook the stew, delve too deep beneath the surface of a person or  place even a situation, of course he was aware of this shortcoming of his, even so, he still seemed to have this inner ability to always see just that little bit deeper into the person and he was convinced that Pam was just another one of those people who was in search of themselves, like him. Bill thought he might as well start the conversation even though he reckoned that Pam would think it more like a line of questioning,

          "So what are you all the way out here for? holiday, sorry,  I mean vacation, look, I'm a 'Brit and you're  are a Yank, a different word but the same meaning", Bill had soon decided to turn the tables and become the question master,

           " I've told you, I'm just chasing after Jim, he knows where we are going for some reason, Christ knows why but he is my dog and as much as it is a pain in my arse, for some reason, I've got to follow him"! During this explanation, the pair had stopped walking and Jim who was at their feet on his back busily rolling in something disgusting, seemed to realise that he was the topic of conversation, he stopped rolling and began to stretch himself out, as he did he farted and quickly got to his feet, began to look around, hoping that nobody realised it came from him! Trying her best not to laugh at him, Pam proceeded to scold the dog,

            "Jim you are such a tart, no point in looking so innocent, we heard you, probably the county too, probably the fucking State!" Jim moved away from them, tail and ears down, then he disappeared from view behind the next pile of boulders partially covered with bushes of some kind, presumably to relieve himself, Bill looked across to Pam, she looked back then raised her eyebrows,

           " What do we expect, he is a fucking animal after all, no manners, no scruples, just a dog"! Bill smiled, he was really beginning to like Jim, he amused him, so much so, he wished that he was a dog like Jim and most importantly, to Bill anyway, a dog who is liked, who is considered a friend, someone who people are always glad to be with, someone who people are always glad to see coming! Bill smiled to himself and with one of those 'if only' looks, one of those looks that is a mixture of sadness and of hope, he raised his eyebrows, then slowly moved his head left to right as though he were shaking the very notion out of his head, making room no doubt for the next onslaught to his senses. 

            They both carried on walking and Pam tugged playfully at the rucksack on Bill's back,

            "What you got in there then, is that where you keep your stash?" Bill grinned at the question and turned to her,

           "Just a few 'essentials', things that may come in handy, matches, a torch, some water, some spare socks and... well, you lot call them shorts but we call them pants", he stalled with his explanation, " why do you want to know anyway, it's all pretty normal, pretty boring really, as I said, essentials", she began to giggle and then burst out laughing, this in turn made Bill feel slightly uncomfortable, he turned away and began looking ahead,

           "Ok,ok, i'm sorry, I did not mean to embarrass you, I was just being nosy that's all, i'm sorry, of course it's your bag, your stuff and your reasons, i'll change the subject, Bill stopped and turned to face her again,

            "I'm not embarrassed, not me, why should I be, no way, I'm fine with it", Bill seemed quite indignant and appeared to be getting a little hot under the collar, Pam looked across to him, then she reached forward and took hold of both of his hands,

            " Bill that's ok, perhaps I did overstep the mark, you are no different to any other man I have met", this comment from Pam made Bill feel even more uncomfortable,

            "What is that supposed to mean, like any other man? what is that all about, Christ you have started something now, what the hell do you mean?" Smiling and pulling herself closer to him, she stared straight into his eyes and whispered,

           " You are all fucking liars!" with that, she leaned in to him, kissed him and removing her hands from his, she sharply smacked his arse,

           "Come on drifter, let's just keep on walking shall we", Bill began to smile down at her and slowly started to think to himself, what was it about this woman, he just could not fathom out, why could he not quite get the connection, this thought did not scare him or alarm him, far from it, he had such a strong feeling that he knew her, that they had even met once before somewhere, Christ knows where, in his head most probably, but he was equally confused as to what it was about him that she obviously liked, if in fact there was such a thing, or was he just wishful thinking, there was just so much going on right now?
            They had walked for what seemed like miles, they had been enjoying each others company, talking deeply at times, then chatting at others, both smiling and laughing, oblivious to the Sun above them, high in the sky all the time creating beautiful shadows all around them, it seemed like the whole place, the desert, was just so clear, so sharp, the whole place was just .....so alive, Bill was feeling the same, he was so happy, his whole body tingled, was this part of what he had been craving for so long? Occasionally they would stop, laughing at some comment or other and all the time he was intriguing her and she was enchanting him and all around them the sunlight danced across the desert panorama, at one minute creating such a primeval scene, it took his breath away, the next would be scenes of such mystery, they felt like a punch to his chest, then before their very eyes would unveil a scene of such beauty, they would simply sooth away at his sences. Bill was by now beginning to feel such an overwhelming wave of peace and happiness, what more was there to ask, walking in the desert with a beautiful woman, a friendly dog, a dog that felt the need to leave his mark everywhere that he sniffed, Jim  was busily pissing on every cactus, every plant and bush, every single clump of rock that he passed, Christ how much urine does that dog possess thought Bill with a smile, he liked Jim!
        "I think that may be your ride  a little way ahead, this must be where we part company", said Pam holding her hand above her eyes to screen her view from the sun, for just ahead of them the big black 'Caddy appeared at the side of the desert road and now the nearer that they got to it they could hear a voice calling out, echoing in the stillness of the desert, it was Mr Young,
       As they got nearer to the 'Caddy, the voice became clearer, it was indeed Mr Young,
       "Amigo, hey Billy Boy, how you doing"? Although he was not looking directly at the two, he had a clear view of them from the rear view mirror, he had by now slid across the huge bench seat to get a look at them, and out of the window, as he called, his arm with that distinctive plaid workshirt sleeve covering it, was waving lazily at them, leaving no doubt as to who it was! The 'Caddy looked particularly out of place now, more than it had before, Bill thought more than ever how much a big black shiny Hearse, especially a Cadillac, did not belong in such a landscape as this, very elegant, but so not quite right!  As the two now approached the 'Caddy, the driver's door opened with a deep clunk from the handle, this  made Bill smile, there were no rattles, no loose trim, this was a rock solid piece of Americana from a bygone age. 
        "Hello again, you thought that I had gone, but hey, I'm back Billy Boy, just like the proverbial bad penny",  Mr Young stopped, obviously deep in thought....."You know what, that has given me a great idea for a song!" Bill smiled and raised his eyebrows, the way you do when you hear the same story again and again. Mr Young appeared from inside the Hearse and was stretching himself in front of them, his six foot plus frame sending out a cloud of dust skyward, he smelt like he had been asleep in the 'Caddy for a few hours, the pungent smell of armpits hit Bill and Pam's nostrils, 
        "No you are not like a bad penny, more like an old friend", said Bill, Pam slowly turned to face Bill and whispered out of the side of her mouth as she did,
        "I think the expression you are looking for is 'like an unflushed turd", this made Bill smile, bravely he stopped himself from giggling, Pam continued as she turned back to Mr Young,
         "Hi Neil, long time no see, how are you?" Mr Young looked at her, he was almost looking her up and down, not in a creepy way, more like the way usually reserved for a parent looking at their child at the School gate, checking the uniform is just right, making sure the lunch-box is present, 
        "Hello Pammy, mmm, I reckon you will do, now, where the hell is that damn mutt of yours, I've got something for him", he was busy looking around when suddenly he spotted Jim emerging from behind a bush and as he in turn spotted Mr Young, he began to run excitedly towards him!
        "Hey Jimmy Boy you old Bastard, come see what old Neil has got you", then he began to reach into a K-Mart carrier bag, purposely rustling it to deliver maximum effect, until finally he pulled out ....a pair of sunglasses? Pam looked at the glasses then back to Mr Young,
        "He's a fucking dog in case you hadn't noticed, I don't think he needs a pair of Aviators!" Pam giggled and flung out her arms in disbelief,
       "Just because he's a dog don't mean the sun don't bother him, 'ain't that right boy", he said as Jim was jumping up and down licking his face, obviously so pleased to see his old friend,
        "These are special shades made special.....for dogs", he held them out for Pam and Bill to get a better look, the glasses had an elastic strap arrangement, similar to a muzzle, the two arms seemed to be more curved and were designed to go under the dog's neck, so true enough, these were indeed sunglasses for dogs! A few minutes later he managed to calm Jim down, he got him to sit at his feet and he placed the glasses around the dog's neck and secure the two pieces of Velcro, he then stepped back to take a look,
         "what do you think", said Mr Young,
         "I'll have to get back to you on that", said a very bemused Bill,
        "I was talking to the fucking dog", said Mr Young adjusting the strap!, All of a sudden Jim changed from being a crazy, lazy old dog, his whole demeanor altered, he began strutting around the  place, in a split second he had become one very cool looking dog,
       "Jimmy Jazz, you are now a bona-fide, rootin' tootin' hot dog", Mr Young said clapping his hands which caused Jim to howl his obvious pleasure, he then began to strut over towards Bill and Pam, barking as he went, this was a very pleased dog, Pam was not quite so enraptured,
       "for Christ's sake, when you have quite finished, yes you look good, weird but good, ok you do look cool but when you are quite finished prancing and parading like some old river boat Queen, I would like to get going, just saying", and almost as if Jim nodded in agreement with her followed by a very loud bark, a bark that said, let's do it, I'm good to go, Bill then turned his attention to Mr Young once again,
        "If it's ok with you, I'd like to carry on walking too, I have got company now with Pam and Jim, so I suppose you could say I'm up for it", Mr Young looked up at him then turned and faced the 'Caddy,
        "What do you reckon Amigo, do you think he is made of the 'right Stuff'?", Bill looked up confused, who was Mr Young talking to, who was in the back of the 'Caddy, hidden from view behind the tinted side windows, he looked over to Pam, she obviously knew who was in there, she began smiling and called to Jim,
"Hey you little bastard, your drinking buddy is here, go and say hello, you baby boomers have got to stick together, poor old Bill is just a Generation X'r, he's got some catching up to do"!  With that, Jim seemed to prick his ears up, he sniffed the air and let out an excited bark and vaulted towards the Hearse skidding to a dusty halt at the driver's door, he stood barking into the 'Caddy, he raised and lowered his twitching body, his tail wagging ten to the dozen, whoever it was, Jim was so pleased to see them!  It seemed that Bill was the only one in the group who had no clue and he felt very left out as he watched Jim disappear inside the Hearse and then hearing him barking with obvious pleasure, the dog soon reappeared, turned and standing as tall and erect as he could, he let out a loud howl,
          " Good to see you my friend, really good", Bill recognised the voice but could not put a face to it, he waited for it to continue,
         "You make sure you look after Bill you hear, he wants to find himself out here somewhere, pretty much like we did, so you keep an eye out for him, I'll see you soon at the cabin on the hill, you know the one, the one that looks out over Laurel and over to Los Cochinos, Jim barked almost in agreement, suddenly Bill realised who the voice belonged to, it was Gram, the guy from the train right at the beginning of this crazy trip! Where did he come from? the last time he saw him he was headed for..... who knows where, just riding the rails as far as Bill was concerned,
         "Hey Gram, it's me, Bill, you remember, the guy from the washroom on the train, Bill the British guy, you must remember?" Just as soon as the words left his mouth Bill knew that they were the wrong ones, they must have sounded so wrong ,so not the right ones, Bill stood there thinking to himself, 
      "Christ what the Hell does everyone think now, I must sound like some crazy queer who travels trains to have brief encounters of a carnal kind with strange men!", not that Bill was particularly homophobic, each to their own was his motto but this needed some kind of clarification he was thinking!  Pam could see how mortified Bill was now feeling and seized the moment and leapt into the conversation,
         "It's ok Bill, you are amongst friends, your secret is completely safe with us", Bill was trying his best to curb his crushing embarrassment,
         " Thank Christ for that, hey! what do you mean,  secret, there is no secret, holy fuck, I'm a guy guy, one hundred percent hetero, it just came out wrong that's all, so.....fucking wrong"! Not for the first time, Pam was beginning to laugh at Bill's expense, as she began to walk over to him and with both hands, grabbed the cheeks of his butt and squeezed hard then she looked up and stared into his eyes, she purred,
          "That's ok Bill, if I was a guy, I would certainly entertain you in the washroom, you are kind of cute", she ended by biting his bottom lip before moving up to plant a kiss on his mouth! By now Bill had realized that she was teasing him, probably about the same time as Mr Young burst out laughing,
          "Ok you have all had your fun....again, but to get one thing straight, I am not 'cute', I'm a Brit, we don't do 'cute' "he said with a wry grin,
          "...and I would very much appreciate it if you would not look at me like that, Pam stepped back and gave him a very exaggerated salute,
          " anything you say.....SIR!" then she bowed her head, stepped back a pace or two and began staring at her feet, beginning to make a circular pattern in the dirt,
          "I was only saying, no offence was meant I can assure you", Bill put a finger under her chin and slowly lifted it to look at him,
          "Saying what exactly", he quietly said to her as she began to smile back at him then suddenly,  she shouted,
          "that you are CUTE, ok, for a Goddamn stuffed shirt Limey, you are cute, live with it, just ask Jim here", Bill knew that he was no match for this lot, looked down at Jim who by this time was sat in front of Bill, bolt upright and looking very handsome in his glasses, he noticed that he was also wearing a scarf around his neck, a scarf with a rather fetching Paisley pattern, Bill bent down to ruffle the dog's head, then he noticed upon closer scrutiny, it wasn't a Paisley design, it was an assortment of.... skulls, many skulls of different sizes and all were, or at least appeared to be, smiling at him!  Bill leaned back and while still stroking Bill's head, grinning he softly spoke to the dog,
          "My God Jim, I bet you are going to light some fires during your lifetime", Jim looked up at him and moved his head slowly up and down, Bill was a little puzzled and began wondering to himself, was this dog...agreeing with him? Then Jim began to give Bill a friendly growl, the dog was, agreeing with him!

      
            
         

Taking The 'Caddy To Mountain Time!"

Part.3               

“Do not call me Pamela!”

        Bill awoke with the smell of the smouldering fire, which was now just a pile of ash but through the smoke on the other side of the remains of the fire, was a dog! He thought it was a dog and through his blurred, early morning eyes It certainly looked like a dog to him at first,  but he was not really sure, slowly Bill started to sit up, “Mr Young, Neil,  are you awake, I certainly hope so because we have company", Bill was a little scared, dogs he loved but wild prairie dog’s,coyote’s,the odd snake not forgetting  scorpions in his boots, all these did tend to make him a bit nervous, not that he had ever met one of these face to face of course, but in this case it was very much a feeling of, if in doubt, get the hell out! As he slowly and as quietly as possible pulled his things towards him, the dog had moved around the ash pile to check him out, a very nervous Bill was wondering how the hell he was going to get out of this? The dog sat in front of Bill, tilting his head from left to right almost as if he were weighing up some sort of opposition, he was not showing any nervousness towards Bill or anyone or anything for that matter, he just got up padded around got a bit closer each time, until finally he walked up to Bill, level with his eyes and let out one almost half-hearted bark as if it were saying hello, then turning away it headed slowly off, out into the desert!  Mr Young had been watching the whole scene unfold,

"There you go, the dog say’s they went that way, we go that way for a while!"     

     Bill, still a little shaken after his early morning meeting with the dog, "what do we do now, you can't take the Caddy into the desert, off the road, it's a Hearse for fuck sake not a Humvee"! Mr Young was now on his feet and stretching his arms in the air, "don't worry amigo, we'll just brew up a coffee, have a bit of fruit ", sarcastically he also said to Bill, "you can even spray your pits if you want but I can't help you with a shower I'm afraid, oh, and by the way, I never said 'we' go that way, if you look, the route the hound  took is only a couple of hundred yards from the road anyway, I'll take the Caddy and I'll meet you about noon down the road apiece, don't worry, I'll find you, Bill looked over to him in horror, "but, but I....", Mr Young waved a finger at him, "that's ok Billy Boy, no need to thank me, just get that ruck-sack of yours loaded up with some essentials and haul arse, see what you can find out there!"
      Bill waved at Mr young as he pulled away and stood watching as  the Caddy made it’s way over onto the highway and began to glide away from him, through gritted teeth and the best pretend smile he could muster up, "catch ya later ya Bastard! He then started to walk back into the desert, he stopped for a minute and swung his rucksack around him and after loosening the straps, he started to feel around inside,

       "shit, if it's not here, that's it, I'm really buggered," he muttered to himself as he began searching deeper and getting more frantic, he began pulling things out, then suddenly he began to grin,

      “Thank Christ for that", he said smiling pulling out a rather crushed pork pie hat! He pushed it into shape, gave it a smack on his leg, and then as he looked down at it, he smiled,

     "Looks like that $15 was money well spent, this puppy will keep me cool and I shall look cool in the process", he said smugly, well, even Goodfella’s tramping through the desert, have to look good!!
    As he walked he could see the highway over in the distance, just the odd car and van went by, a huge articulated Kenworth blasted down on its air horns making Bill jump, he looked over just in time to see an arm waving from the cab, the horns sounded again, what a nice gesture he thought, the trucker must have seen Bill from the road, there was nobody else around, must have been Bill, so with an ear pearling shrill, Bill whistled and waved back at the truck, the driver blasted one more time, raised his arm and gave Bill a thumbs up and then accelerated away down the road. Bill liked the fact that these people, drivers, truckers, all total strangers, all seemed to be interested in...Him, perhaps they were just looking at another weirdo aimlessly walking in the desert, he smiled as he walked, and I suppose he did look a little strange!
      As he walked he came across some very strange litter dotted about, "what the fuck is that doing here", he said to himself as he stopped and began to stare at a toilet bowl complete with a cracked  cistern, "who would come all the way out here to dispose of a toilet!" As he moved nearer to take a better look, he burst out laughing, some wag had scrawled all across the cistern in black marker pen,
  'It is illegal to dump along the highway!'
      The 'schoolboy' curiosity within him somehow compelled him to lift up the seat, so with a handy piece of what looked like a chair leg lying nearby, he flicked it open and gingerly peered in! Once again he crumpled and was reduced to the sort of laughter a woman would hate, a woman would just not see the funny side, for there inside, scrawled on an old piece of cardboard,
"Drifters take advantage!
An hour from now, you'd wish you had taken the time to have one!" His mother had always said that he had a naughty, even crude sense of humour, and he certainly was very amused, he dropped the toilet seat lid with a dusty crash, he thought to himself, how such a simple comment could be so effective, some people are just born to make the hardest hearts smile!
    Bill had been walking a little over an hour, that great big golden ball was by now right overhead, burning brightly in the pristine blue sky, he was so thankful for bringing the hat! It wasn't long before Bill stopped to take a much needed swig from one of the bottles of water, as he wiped his mouth and screwed the cap back on the bottle something caught his eye, something in the distance was glinting in the sun! Being somebody who is naturally nosey, he altered his route a little in order to get nearer to where this latest curiosity was coming from, this took him a little further away from the highway, not that he was too bothered because he was still in sight of the road and occasional traffic, he could still be seen and heard if necessary, so he was happy and carried on. For a while he lost sight of whatever it was and was about to give it up as a lost cause when  suddenly, he saw the glint again, not in the same place as before, this time it seemed to be closer  to the course that he had been taking earlier! Bill stopped and began to survey this new route, he looked to where he thought it was coming from and he then realised that he was not looking for something anymore but he was obviously looking for somebody, the glinting appeared to be moving! No point in rushing he thought, too hot for that so he had another swig from his water bottle, he felt safe in the knowledge that he would be catching up with Mr Young later so although he was careful not to waste any water, it was a gulp not a sip! He carried on walking whilst screwing the cap back on the bottle; he then swung the ruck sack around to put the bottle away,

    "Hey Man, any chance of a glug on your bottle before you put it away!" Startled, Bill nearly dropped it on the floor,

    "Jesus, you scared the shit out of me, where did you come from, more to the point, who the fuck are you!" He said stepping back defensively,          "Hey Man, calm down, we are all friends out here!" Bill apologised for his rudeness but just the same, he still eyed the visitor up and down with a little suspicion, holding out his hand, he continued,

 "Must be something about being out here, in the desert," he also muttered under his breath,

    "I suppose it goes hand in hand with the rest of the crazy shit going on these last few days," the stranger introduced himself,

"That's ok Man, my fault, should have phoned you first," with that he burst out laughing, Bill tentatively joined in with the laughter then abruptly stopped, realising that the two had never met before, how the hell would he know his number, this guy was taking the piss, he started getting a little nervous, who was this guy, for all he knew he was a throwback of some kind,  was he a chromosome defect like the hillbilly weirdos in The Hills Have Eyes, he  began thinking on his feet, a vision entered his head, he became alarmed, why was Charles Manson for some reason coming to mind? Was this guy a lost follower perhaps, one of the dune buggy raiders he had read about so often,  Bill began to smile at the absurdity of that thought and he began to mock himself,

"Bill, you are such a dick sometimes, this guy has got a guitar strapped to his back not a fucking meat hook!" He offered the bottle to the stranger, "fill your boots, I've got another one in my bag and I'm going to be picked up in a couple of hours," he said hopefully!

"Appreciate that Man, I'd ask you for a light but you don't look like a smoker to me somehow", Bill looked at the man,

 "au contraire mon ami, what is it they say, once a Boy Scout, always yadda yadda", he then threw his bag over his shoulder and quickly undid the buckle on the side pocket, after feeling around for a couple of seconds, as if he was performing a trick of some kind he tossed the box of matches into the air and caught it as it came down, this was the matches  that he picked up at Crosby's Store,  a huge ear to ear grin appeared on the strangers face,

  "Oh Man, the boy, by that I mean you my friend, you done good", and he gladly took the box.
          "The name is Ron but most call me Rocket, that's me, Rocket Ron, pretty cool yeah"! Slightly baffled although the way this trip was shaping up, nothing surprised Bill anymore,

        "Why do they call you that", Bill enquired just as the smell of a fresh match mixed with the smoke that Ron was blowing into the air started to drift over towards him,

     "I do tend to look to the heavens Man, the sky, the moon and the stars," he inhaled deeply and the way he spoke did not leave much to the imagination,

    "fuck Man, I just love the stars," he offered Bill a toke on a joint as big as a carrot, normally he would join him but he felt that clarity was the order of the day, for now at least., politely he refused,

   "Too early for me Man but thanks anyway", Ron had just sucked in another lungful,

   "Whenever you are ready, you just got to ask, maybe we can check out the old stars together," Bill smiled and nodded his gratitude,

   "I may just do that, if it's good for you, I may join you later".
    They walked together for some distance, truth be told Bill was glad of the company, Ron was certainly good company that's for sure! He was a person that was almost impossible to age, he looked a bit older than Bill but much younger than Mr Young, he had long hair more to the point , he still had a good amount of hair too unlike Bill who had said goodbye to his many years ago, they did have one thing in common, both had a moustache, however it may have been the lack of hair on his head that made Bill keep it nicely manicured, unlike his new companion whose hair was kept in check with a band around the middle of his head a la Willie Nelson  and his moustache had grown very long, not unruly,  his appearance reminded Bill of one of the guys who was  in that great band exported from home, Foghat,  many years ago, Christ he thought, this guy is just a walking cliché but then again, he could not see a Dead Head badge anywhere, he sniggered to himself, perhaps he has one tattooed on his arse, next to  the Woodstock dove!

          Almost as quickly as he had appeared, Ron was bidding farewell,

 "You seem to know where you're going my friend, so I will see you in a while, take it easy, give my regards to old Neil will ya and thanks for the matches and the water," with that he altered his course and began to head off into the desert. After a while he disappeared from view and as far as Bill was concerned, Ron was just another ingredient to this...whatever it was, journey of discovery!
        Bill was starting to enjoy his own company, the going was not too tough, it was hot but bearable and Bill was making steady progress, things were to change yet again, shortly he had yet another visitor!  Walking close by to him he noticed that the dog from earlier that morning had made another appearance, it was looking straight ahead not over to Bill almost as if he knew Bill was there but was not at all bothered. Bill seemed to feel comfortable this time, they knew each other and more to the point the dog was walking with purpose, to where and to whom, who knew? The further they walked, the closer the distance apart the two became until they were walking side by side, Bill looked down and the dog looked back to him, then turned his head and carried on, there was definitely some kind of empathy between the two travellers and Bill felt more at ease now with the dog being there, certainly more comfortable than he had earlier.  Even so, he had also kept hold of that old chair leg from earlier, originally he had just picked it up as some kind of desert memorabilia, he realised that many travellers grab a handful of dirt as a keepsake or pick up some leaves or maybe a flower but then again he thought, the chair leg would look better hanging on a wall than some dirt in a jar in a cupboard, his attention switched back to the dog. He was now convinced it was a dog, just a mutt who close up was not wild or vicious and not even mangy looking, well fed and in what to him looked good condition, how did it get here, who did it belong to? Suddenly they both stopped, both had heard the same thing, both had heard the same…person!
    The cry was quite a surprise to hear and Bill stopped walking to have another listen,
    "Jim, Jim, here boy, Jim, Jimmy Jazz, where the fuck are you? The voice was getting a little more insistent and it was starting to sound obviously, very annoyed, "talk about give the dog a fucking bone, man’s best friend my arse....oh, sorry about that, didn't see you there, you 'ain't seen my dog have you? There before him suddenly appeared a woman, obviously a woman who was extremely pissed off but this did not hide her appearance, her very obvious natural beauty, Bill was a little lost for words!
   "Hi, I'm Bill, nice but....very strange if those are the right words to use, but still, nice to meet you, I believe this fella is Jim,  am I right?" he said pointing to the dog next to him who by this time had started to bark, a knowing, happy bark, not a fearsome bark,
  "Hi, I'm Pam or Pammy but not Pamela ok, do not call me Pamela, only my mother calls me Pamela!" Bill, a little nervous at her forthright attitude, speaking slowly,  he continued, “Hey that's cool with me....Pam", bravely thinking he was out of ear shot he mouthed, or Pamela! Pam moved in close to his face, she whispered, "I said do not call me Pamela", and sarcastically she finished by saying "William is it"! He smiled, he was not at all bothered but he thought it best to humour her, she turned her annoyance back towards the dog,

   "Jim, for fucks sake, when I call you I mean, like now,ok!" She continued her verbal assault on the hound,

   "you always were and it looks like you always will be a total shit, a lone gun, a renegade, an all-round, complete and utter bastard, why I look out for you is beyond me!" the dog laid down and seemed to be covering his eyes with one of his paws, he started to howl almost as though he were crying, like a scolded child, Pam looked up and with a deep sigh, "do you know what, fuck you Jim", then looking over to Bill, "hey buddy boy or whatever the hell your name is, you want a dog, he's yours!" Looking back to the dog and wagging a finger at the howling creature who by this time had rolled onto his back,

  "Jim you have ripped my shitter once too often, Jim, this is the end!” When he heard that statement, Bill suddenly looked up at Pam then back to Jim and then back to Pam in quick succession, he muttered under his breath,

  "I thought this journey was becoming normal but now, I’m not so sure!" He tried to calm her down hoping to bring some rationality to the table but mostly because he was scared stiff about being lumbered with the dog,
    "Calm down, let's not get to hasty here, old Jim here looks very sorry and I am sure he begs your forgiveness, don't you Jim," he said looking at the dog and nodding at him almost willing him to agree, Jim looked up at him with one of those dumb looks that dogs do to get away with anything,
      Out of nowhere, Pam decided to give an explanation about her and Jim,

  "Well what did I expect, he is a French dog! I took a year out in Europe a couple of years ago, I was an au pair in Italy, I picked olives and tomatoes in Greece and then I was in Germany for a while teaching English in a private school, saved up all my money and decided to make my way back to the States, not before I stopped off in France, got to Paris and did a little bar work, that’s where we met, he was a stray wandering alone, I was the sucker he was looking for,  I fed him and made a fuss of him, fucking worst thing I ever did, huge mistake, I mean massive,  because this sad eyed little bastard liked all the fuss and attention so much, he adopted me, we hit it off straight away, in the beginning that is, so later, when I decided to return Stateside, I paid the quarantine fees and shipped him over with me,  been chasing after him ever since, Bastard," the dog yelped out what was almost an apology, "he's a handsome brute and I'm sure he does not mean to put you to all of this trouble", said Bill kneeling down to stoke Jim,

" oh yeah he's a looker alright, he jumps any fence to fulfil his needs, he screws any bitch that comes near him and believe me, they all do, he has left his mark all over, there must be hundreds of little Jim's everywhere!". Bill trying his best not to laugh thinking about all these little Jim's running around and at the same time trying to come to terms with Pam's 'colourful' language, this was proving to be not at all easy especially as she was such an attractive woman, such a very attractive woman and the wonderful turns of phrase she used, did not seem to go together, not that he minded, just that she was not what he was expecting!
    "Ok Bill or whatever you call yourself, I'm all ears, so tell me all about yourself!" Bill was suddenly very confused, why did such a gorgeous creature as Pam want to know anything about him, it made no sense at all, he was flattered but wary of her interest! 
      "Well, if you insist, I'll give it a go, just for you," as he mustered up some pages from his back catalogue, he looked over to Pam," she was by this time staring straight at him, Bill was slightly unnerved by her apparent interest in him all of a sudden, she cocked her head to one side, her eyes behind a pair of blue tinted sunglasses, a straw Stetson on her head, covering her shoulder length blonde hair, she was wearing a white, cheese cloth blouse under a denim waistcoat covered in more enamel badges than he cared to read, she was obviously on a crusade to save just about everything, this hippy chick ensemble was complimented by a pair of Levi jeans that could have been painted on, he felt awkward, his eyes were looking everywhere but directly at her, Christ he thought, "I'm English and it is so rude to stare but Christ she is gorgeous!" He continued,
    "My name is Bill, I'm from England, which is way over there," he said turning and pointing behind him, Pam was still staring into his eyes, 
    "Carry on, I fucking know where England is and it is not over there, it's that way," she said pointing in the opposite direction, Bill apologised and continued,
  "I'm in my.....you work out how old I am, a little older than you anyway, I suppose I have come looking for something or somebody, maybe I want to find the thing or things that are missing in my life," he suddenly felt like a child who was explaining himself to a Policeman, he looked down to the ground and began to make a pattern in the dirt with his boot, Pam suddenly grabbed both of his hands and as she gripped them she began to make swirling pattern with her thumbs in the palm of each of his hands, he slowly started to raise his head and was soon staring straight into Pam's eyes, she had tilted her hat skyward, she then pulled him closer to her,
    " best we try and find whatever it is then," she whispered in his ear, Bill stepped back and looking straight at her, struggling for the right words, he came out with one of those sentences that always seem right at the time but sound dumb as hell,
    "Have you got the time to spare, I know I have but....", with that once again she pulled him into her and began to kiss him, Bill was shocked, pleasantly so but very shocked,
    "Will you shut your mouth for a minute, quit the talk and just kiss me....please!  and close your eyes, you are making me nervous", she said to him,
    "I'm  making you nervous Bill thought to himself, I've never met someone so 'not nervous' in my life. Bill’s journey had taken yet another turn, was this person, Pam, for real, did he know Jim, had they met before somewhere, as they continued to kiss, the sweet pain in his head, was getting…. sweeter!

    Taking The 'Caddy To Mountain Time!

(Part.2)

    With the brim of his sweat stained hat, tilted low touching the rim of his Aviators, ”Can you drive hombre?" Bill looked over at Mr Young, "Me? are you talking to me?" Mr Young burst out laughing, "I've seen that fucking movie, jeez wait a minute I'm going to get this, what's that guy’s name? He screwed his face up, deep in thought, "DeNiro!" He cried out, "Robert De fucking Niro, Taxi Driver, now that was a great movie", Bill started to smile at him, " ok,agreed, a great movie, what was the question again", bringing the Caddy to a slow stop, Mr Young turned to Bill, "I said, can you drive?, do you want to have a go?"
    Soon Bill was gripping the huge steering wheel with both hands and as he gently pushed down on the pedal, the Caddy slowly began to move away, the huge motor under that equally huge hood was barely audible, Bill bounced in his seat almost like a child, relishing the moment, he turned to Mr Young, "I don't think this thing has ever done more than 25 miles an hour, ever, Christ she just purrs!" He looked over again,

Mr Young was fast asleep, he soon realised that he was not getting a lesson in driving on desert roads out of the kindness of his companions heart, the teacher was dead to the world, the pupil, Bill, was on his own! 
      As they rolled along the huge desert highway they passed by very little oncoming traffic, the occasional pickup, some drivers would acknowledge them with a polite wave, others simply blanked them, their eyes looking straight ahead showing no emotion at all, Bill smiled to himself, was this American Gothic for real, was this a Norman Rockwell painting come to life! Later on they passed  a couple of bikers, riding side by side, dangerously close to each other, the guy in the buckskin waistcoat with 'Son Of A Kai-San Vet' emblazoned across the chest of his t-shirt handed something across to the biker with the ‘Brando" jacket and curiously, a washed out 'Smiley Face' T-Shirt  who was nearest to the Caddy and with almost nonchalant precision, as if this was some kind of Rodeo act,  obviously they were sharing a joint, why not thought Bill, it's a nice evening, he could not help hearing Bon Jovi rolling through his mind, these guys after all were on steel horses but were they wanted dead or alive, he smiled and thought to himself, Bill, you are such a prick! As they neared the Caddy they started to slow down and gradually came to a stop as Bill pulled up alongside, the biker nearest to the Caddy peered in the window and noticed that it was Mr Young, he turned and nodded to his wingman then looked back straight  at Bill, "hey buddy, you gotta keep right on to the end of the road, keep your eyes and your mind open, here, this is for you",  he threw a freshly rolled pair of doobie's neatly tied together into the Caddy! Leaning over Bill,  Mr Young acknowledged the generosity of the men, “you take care sledging it down this piece of black top boys,”  each of them gave a twist on their throttles giving out the distinctive song of the V-Twin, "we will, we are always one step ahead of any cherry top that might be cruising down this way, don't you worry about us Mr Young", and with that, with a crunch they both dropped down a gear and roared off into the night but not before one of the men called out, "hope you find what you’re looking for Bill"!  As their tail lights disappeared into the shimmering distance Mr Young turned to Bill, “a good pair of guys those two and I do believe, two new friends for you Bill!" No sooner had he spoken, he tilted his hat down over his eyes and drifted off once again.
      The heat coming through the windows was relentless and very unforgiving, this was all set to change as the heat of the afternoon slowly left the day behind and the cooler evening air took over getting ready for the night, the long desert night! Bill was still mesmerised by the whole deal, the Loco, the Caddy, Mr Young, the huge length of black top that just seemed to keep unrolling in front of them and the vastness, the miles and miles all around them of raw, scorched earth! It may have been thanks to the occasional rasping snore from Mr Young that kept Bills concentration levels up, the fact that he had taken one of his favourite pills, those with with the 'M' on was helping too, usually he avoided driving at night anywhere but this was a road trip that had his senses completely in tune with the landscapes that they passed through, he just felt so alive, he felt that his demons, those little bastards that seemed to have been suppressing all of his hopes and dreams for such a long time were gradually lining up to leave his body at last! 
    They had been on the road for a couple of hours when  he first noticed began to notice them, the fires in the distance, they seemed to be every couple of miles, not blazing infernos, just little bonfires here and there, he became more and more curious, he wound down the window to get a clearer look. The breeze that came in at first took his breath away and more to the point,  woke Mr Young!
      "Now what did you do that for? he began to giggle, "damn you boy, I'm gonna kick your arse! My first boss used to say that whenever I sassed him, but hombre I'm pretty pissed off with you right now, I was in the arms of..whoever..whatever, why did you have to spoil it, why, oh why, oh why," Bill thought his passenger seemed genuinely annoyed with him until he caught sight of the wink in the windshield, Bill was still curious about the fires and returned to the window,  staring out into the distance, "sorry about that, but what are those fires out there, who is it that lights them?", leaning over and looking through the window, "what, them things, probably the Sundowners, they do that so they know where they are, it gets as black as ink out there you know!" Bill brought the Caddy to a halt, he turned to Mr Young, "what's a Sundowner, no, let me guess, they are the same as me, kindred spirits who are in search of the thing that is missing from their lives," gripping his arm tightly, Mr Young looked Bill right in the eye, "that's right!, you ain't the only one who wants what is his, the thing that is missing from his life, come on pull this thing over and we’ll take a walk and find 'em!" Bill, with a look of surprise, disbelief even, through a cracked voice said, "Christ Man, I was fucking joking!"
      As Bill climbed out of the Caddy he stretched to full size, "when I die I want to lay down in one of these babies, Christ I have never felt so relaxed but at the same time, I'm tingling, is that right, is that normal?" He  closed the door his side with a clunk, Mr Young smiled, "come on then hombre, let's get some of that smoke  and dust up our noses," then they both started to walk away from the road, Bill looked behind them at the imposing silhouette that the Caddy was leaving by the roadside, it was then that Bill realised just how big it was, standing so serene against the primeval backdrop of the desert at night!
    As the two men made their way towards the first fire, Mr Young broke the silence, "so Bill, when did you first realise it was gone?", surprised and puzzled by this odd question that just  came from nowhere, Bill turned to Mr Young, "what do you mean, what was gone, you will have to explain that one because that has gone way over my head, what do you mean?", laughing quietly to himself Mr Young threw out an arm across Bills chest to stop him, "your soul your mojo Man, the very essence of you I suppose", Bill stood opposite his inquisitor, kicking back and forth the stony ground, a cloud of dust seemed to be swirling around his feet  rising like smoke, he knew he had to give an answer of some kind, "I don't know, a while I suppose, it's a case of being happy, being content, being comfortable within myself, fuck it, that sounds pompous, selfish even, if it does, I'm sorry, I don't mean it to", Mr Young turned to face Bill, "yeah! and your point is what exactly, it was obvious when I first met you that something was missing from your puzzle Man, you were kind of...oh I don't know," looking to the sky, “thinking what exactly, I'm not quite sure, it may be that you were just bewitched, bothered and bewildered, yeah, maybe that's it," then excitedly gripping Bills shoulders, "Christ Man, make a note of that, there is a song in there somewhere even if I say so myself!  Raising his eyebrows, Bill said, "there is, it's been done already, I recall my old man singing it!", looking deflated Mr Young released his grip, "there is! , are you sure? Well shit in this old hat and punch it, I thought I was onto a hit there, oh well, whatever, you get my drift anyway, you were lost within yourself and I'm going to help you find you, with a little help from my friends of course," he looked up quickly again, Bill on this occasion was once again ahead of Mr Young’s thinking, "that too!," Mr Young stared hard into Bills eyes, " that too?, what?" Laughing at the glaringly obvious, Bill said, "that's been done as well, a little combo from way back, The Beatles," cracking half a smile Mr Young replied, "who? The Beatles you say," and with a look to the heavens, "nope, never heard of 'em!," he winked at Bill and they continued walking into the desert. 
          The two men soon reached the first bonfire and Bill was slightly cheesed off that they found themselves alone, there was nobody about! Looking around Bill broke the silence, "where do they go, it's so dark out there, do they even know where to go, it's a daunting prospect even in the daytime I would think but at night, fuck that, I would just cuddle up with a bottle of red I may have in my ruck-sack, look at the stars maybe, have a little drink or two, possibly have a think, try to unravel my head, dilute some of the glue in there, what do you bit of a think, what about you Mr Young?" Staring at the flames as they danced around in front of him, Mr Young sniggered, “I think I should very much like a swig on that bottle of red and you know what, I think that somebody already  has..." He bent down and picked up a half empty bottle that had been, or so it would appear, strategically propped up by a small pile of rocks, stranger still, there were two glasses next to the bottle! "Someone knew we were coming maybe," said Mr young, "what...well don't look at me, this is as strange to me as it is to you," protested Bill. Turning the bottle  and using the flickering light from the fire, Mr Young scrutinised the label on the bottle, "whoever it was,  or is, they know  a good grape when they taste it, Mission Bell, this is a nice wine!" He then handed Bill one of the glasses, "savour this hombre, this will hit the spot, trust me, have too much of this stuff and it will certainly blow the wax out of your ears"! Bill seemed very hesitant at first, "Christ Man they could be coming back, you don't know!"  Mr Young threw an arm around Bills neck and laughed, "Such a cherub, so innocent, so fucking stupid! This has been left for you and....whoever, me in this case, but it was for you to share a glass or two with, I don't know, maybe the guy you met on the Loco, what did you say he was called, Graham or something? No my mistake, Gram, that was it, the Rodeo guy," quickly and in disbelief Bill turned to Mr Young, "I never told you his name, I don't think I even said I had met anybody on the Loco, Christ you are ripping my shitter Man," smiling and shaking his head, slowly Bill turned to Mr Young," you really freak me out, not in a scary way but in a strange way!". 

         The two men both looked up to the sky and studied the stars and the patterns in the night sky, inhaling deeply the night air, Mr Young, while he was looking up, maybe it’s that woman, the one who you think lives in that song of mine, who knows, and for now,who cares, let’s just have a drink and give a bit of thanks to them anyway," nervously and perhaps a little reluctantly, Bill accepted the glass and watched as Mr Young filled it with the wine, then as they stood together in the darkness with just the orange hue from the fire on their faces they gave a toast, to the desert, the night and to whoever the hell it was who had been thinking of them. 

         You ever slept under the stars Bill said Mr Young, one of the best ways to get real!  Bill, busy taking another mouthful of wine from his glass, “what do you mean, real!" Mr Young seemed to be serious for a moment and was giving some thought to the answer he was about to give, "just you, your thoughts, your questions and out here, the desert, the stillness of the night makes all of those things much clearer and thus my friend, help you, me or whoever to sleep real good, no interference, pure clarity, none of that crosstown traffic shit that can sometimes barrel through your mind!", Bill looked at his companion, gave a deep breath, "what is it you Yanks say when you have been pulled into a story," momentarily he seemed to be mulling over the words to the expression in his head, " oh yeah that's right, hang the rich!, he laughed, "but it's a good one I'll grant you that, but it's late, I'm done in and you too, so in answer to your question, no I have not and yes I will!" After finishing off the wine along with some chips and crackers that Bill had bought at Crosby's store earlier, Bill rolled up his rucksack into a pillow, pulled  his jacket around and lay down near the fire, Mr Young had grabbed a few things presumably from the back of the Caddy and returned to the fire, Bill laughed at the tattered old pillow that Mr Young threw on the floor  an equally worn out Driza-Bone wax coat, "you never know," he said, "the clouds might open"! Bill muttered to himself, " something tells me you do this quite often", "'ain't that the truth amigo, some of my best lines have come to me when I've laid down under the stars, but if the old heavens open, I'm gone! I'm in the back of the Caddy with the rest of the souls of the departed, only room for one back there amigo, so you are going to be out here, on your own," he laughed out loud as he covered himself with the battered old coat, "but remember to wake me if she comes back!" Bill was staring into the fire, turned to question the statement, "who is, she? When who comes back?, "Billy boy, so many questions, the Witchy Woman of course, if she appears in a song of mine like you seem to think, I have got to know what she looks like!, so just let yourself go with the flow amigo, go with the flow, goodnight and Amen". Soon Bill was on his own, Mr Young was already, contentedly snoring under his hat, Bill made a pattern in the sand with a twig, he juggled over the thoughts racing through his mind, how the fuck could he sleep now he thought, he might miss something and he had no real  clue who she is, what she is, if she exists at all, what is it in his mind that made him think she was a witch, an all seeing eye maybe, his all seeing eye!  After a while, he had finished off the last of the wine and decided that somewhere out there is a kindred spirit of some kind, he also knew that Mr Young was bound to ask him a shitload of questions in the morning!

To be continued……

Taking The 'Caddy To Mountain Time! 
(Part.1)

    
(Most of the people in this desert tale, I have never met or am I ever likely to but if you are armed with a vivid imagination, you are going to use it now and again, don't you think!)

....and so, it begins.

           The gentle rocking of the carriage must have finally helped him fall asleep, maybe it was the breeze that came in through the open window of the carriage, either way, once he had put his head on his rolled up jacket against the window, with the gentle and the welcome feeling of the breeze upon his skin, after the humid layers that had surrounded him earlier in the day, this was more than just some 'light relief', this was some kind of heaven.
"Sir, sir, excuse me but this is where you get off, Sir, hello in there",
The guard gently shook all that remained of the sleep from the passenger, waiting for some form of response and when it came, the guard doffed two fingers under the braided peak of his blue company hat in a kind of 'lazy' salute. Bill slowly started to focus his eyes upon the guard,
"Sorry mate, must have gone for a while".,
"That would be about seven hours ago Sir, not much to see out the window at night anyway, it’s kinda black don't you know, anyway I thought you should know we are just about to drop you off at Stone Dry, which I believe, is your stop Sir!  Bill realising that this was where the journey really began, grabbed the guards arm as he turned to head up the carriage,
"Have I got time to go to the bathroom before we stop?"
Looking at Bill then at his outstretched arm, he smiled,
"Of course Sir, we will be pulling up in about twenty minutes from now, no rush, get your things together and leave them by the door", Bill was glad to know that he had a little time on his side, he was busting for a pee,
"Is there a sink in the bathroom, I want to clean my teeth and splash some water on my face"', the guard looked at him then smiled, he quietly said,
"Mind you don't piss in the sink and clean your teeth in the toilet", he obviously thought it was amusing because as he turned away again he was shaking with fits of the giggles. Bill hauled his ruck sack up the carriage and eventually got to the sliding door, gave it a couple of tugs and it was open, he smiled to himself, for some reason he always thought of an air lock door, like the ones that 'shoosh' in Star Trek! He pushed the bag under the chrome luggage rack, turned and saw a sign on the adjacent door, 'Male Rest Room’, this is it, he bent down to his bag and after feeling about inside, he found his washbag, he went across to the door and slid it open. The movement of the train seemed to be playing games with his bladder, he just could not go, the fear of missing his stop and the possibility of causing a queue at the door seemed to be working against him but he persevered. Finally, his bladder tap turned on, the relief he felt was almost pleasurable, he rolled his eyes skyward and loudly sighed,
"Holy Fuck, did I drink that much, where the hell is all that piss coming from", he muttered to himself all of the time trying to stand firm on the floor of the cubicle in order not to pee down his jeans! He washed as best he could in the tiny stainless steel basin made all the more difficult thanks to a previous visitor who had made off with the plug, he smiled to himself, that it is not an act unique to Britain, he then sparingly sprayed his arm pits with the deodorant that was getting dangerously low, first gas station or truck stop, his list of supplies was getting longer! Once he had cleaned his teeth and swilled the last of his mouthwash, one last look in the mirror, he winked at himself then slid the door open,
"Christ man, I was going to call the guard, I thought you had died on the John, what kept you, hardly the decor?"
Bill was confused. Did he know this man bearing down on him, he didn't think so, and he had been the only passenger in the carriage for hours as far as he knew! "Sorry dude, just freshened up a bit, I'm good to go now, I'm Bill by the way, next stop is mine",
"Yeah, I know, Stone Dry, are you English?" Said the stranger cocking his head to one side and squinting, 
Bill looked up to him,
"That's right, I'm here doing a bit of soul searching", pushing past him the stranger said, "thought so and.....I know", he slid the door shut, Bill was confused and looking for the right words to say while stood outside a Men's Room door, "I suppose the accent gives me away but how do you know why I'm here?" With the toilet flushing and the taps running, the stranger spoke, 
"We have been expecting you, it's ok we are your friends,” he then slid the door open and faced Bill,
"Oh shit, don't you just hate that", Bill looked at him, "hate what", the man continued “there is no plug and no towel, may I", Bill looked even more surprised when the stranger started to dry his hands on his denim shirt, his last clean shirt! It was too late to object anyway, "Be my guest, and you are" the reply was not what he expected, the stranger continued, "a good friend of mine is English, Keith, heard of him,  great guy, you would like him", Bill thought to himself, Keith is it, of course, Jesus Christ how the hell would I know him?, "no sorry, can't say that I do," then noticing the strangers attire, he quickly changed the subject, "I must say I , like your shirt man, what are they, rhinestones, pretty cool," Bill then looked down for some reason at the strangers feet, "what's with the bare feet guy, or have you got soles of leather?" Pointing to the top rack behind him, "they are mine, made for walking but I ain't walking out of here just yet!" Looking at the beautiful pair of square toed  boots with what looked like a Phoenix rising from the flames design that had been 'hammered' into the sides of each boot and each boot being resplendent with its own gleaming silver spur attached, Bill was very impressed, " are you a cowboy, is there a Rodeo up ahead?" , laughing the stranger replied, "not a cowboy, more akin to a Desperado I reckon, oh by the way, call me Gram", looking back to the boots then back to Gram, Bill had a look on his face of surprise at first then understanding and then, realisation, he looked Gram in the eyes and smiled, “good to meet you man and....I think I do know that Keith guy," then turning to pick up his ruck sack he asked Gram where he was heading, "fancy a bit of company, I reckon we have got plenty to gab about and I'm in no hurry, what do you say?", Bill stood up shaking his ruck sack into a more comfortable position on his back, then he realised Gram, had gone, he quickly turned to look on the rack behind him, the boots had also gone!" Looking all around the compartment and through the dirty Windows, he looked into each carriage; he was alone, was Gram there or was he in Bill’s head?  Was he so tired he imagined their meeting, he thought back to the bar he had called in the day before, the bar where he had gone to wet his whistle with perhaps one too many Tequilas and the joint he shared with that barmaid after the bar closed, he smiled to himself, she loved my accent too, she took him to her apartment for the night, he smiled again, was he just another 'Brit for her to tell her friends about, what the hell he thought, everybody needs a bosom for a pillow now and again and she was a beautiful person and he would always remember her, perhaps not her name but he would always remember 'her'!

    He could feel the huge train begin to slow down followed by the sound of squealing metal; the wheels were gradually coming to a stop, his stop. "Sir, got your things together, this is you, your stop, Stone Dry, population....", the guard seemed to falter, "you know, I've been through this stop countless times but I have paid no mind to that statistic ever before, 'ain't that funny!", Bill looked to the guard and realising there was not going to be an answer coming from him anytime soon, quickly went off on a tangent,  "as long as I can buy a coffee and hopefully stock up my ruck sack with some basics", then realising what he had said he shrugged, "or rather I should have said, essentials, I am going to start stinking soon and that won't do"! Politely agreeing with Bill, the guard gestured to the door of the carriage, "this way if you please, your stop awaits", Bill collected his things and for some reason felt compelled to shake the guards hand, the guard seemed pleasantly surprised and firmly shook Bill's hand, and pointing out of the open carriage door, "there you go Bill, Stone Dry, your journey now begins, I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for, good luck", Bill turned and walked towards the door, he suddenly stopped, how did he know my name?  turning back to the guard, "thanks very much but how do you....know.....my.....name?", the guard was gone, Bill looked back but he was gone, he thought to himself that if the guard was not such an amiable guy and it was the middle of the night, he would be shitting himself, he smiled and headed to the door once again. He stood there for a few seconds waiting for the dust to settle, the heat was almost as if he had opened an oven door, his eyes had become instantly dry, no time now to look for his sun glasses, he used his arm to shield his eyes and carried on walking down the steps. Now stood on the platform or more like the land between the train and the outline of a building that was slowly materialising through the dust, this must be it, this is Stone Dry, he walked towards the building still protecting his eyes with his raised forearm.
Arriving at the building just as the dust was falling away, he heard a blast on a whistle, "all aboard", it was the guard looking over towards Bill, he did that little salute that he had performed earlier, he shouted over, " hey Bill, maybe see you later", and before long the huge rattler was moving along the track slowly disappearing from view.
Finally standing in front of the station house, Bill looked around, he appeared to be alone, the door to the building was propped open, presumably to allow some air to flow through, he started to make his way to the doorway, feeling as he went for his wallet in his jeans, trying as best he could to remember the list of supplies that he hoped to pick up, "Christ I hope there is some kind of shop here", he muttered under his breath and as he walked in, he smiled widely, there was a small convenience store opposite the ticket office, smiling he thought his prayers were answered that is until he saw the closed sign hanging on the door, "fuck it, what am I going to do now, I stink like a moose!". He turned and walked up to the ticket window and peered through the round grill, "hello, excuse me, anybody here", he stood and waited for a response, nothing, he called again, slightly louder this time, Hello is an...." Before he could finish his sentence, he felt a tap on his shoulder, "no need to shout buddy, I heard you the first time", startled, Bill turned around and was confronted by presumably the station master! "I'm sorry I didn't realise anybody was here", said a rather sheepish Bill, "you don't say", said the man pushing past Bill and opening the door to the ticket  office, " you must be Bill, am I right?" Bill felt slightly uneasy, how did he know that, he didn't know him from Adam so how the fuck did this stranger know who he was!!
"Well, WHAT DO YOU WANT", he shouted to Bill through the round grill in the window! Bill stepped back away from the counter and looked at the man, he was annoyed rather than alarmed by the attitude of this man, he thought to himself what a complete shit that this man was, he proceeded to berate the man through the window, "well excuse me, where I come from you would be considered a bit of a Git, an extremely rude Git," the man laughed loudly, "a Git you say, been called a lot of things in my time but that's a new one on me", he seemed almost pleased with this new title, still giggling to himself ,"okie dokey Bill, what can I do for you, by the way the name is Neil, some call me Mr Young others call me Shakey and before you say it, it 'ain't because of the booze or the drugs", Bill was puzzled, intrigued by the remark, he waited for the explanation,
"This 'ain't my usual job either, just helping out until the Goddamn med's kick in, I'm an epileptic you see, I have 'brainstorm's, although the Doctors prefer me to refer to 'em as seizures for Christ's Sakes, whatever, shit happens don't you agree!" Bill had known this man minutes but already he felt that he had known him forever, not liked him forever but certainly known him,  "you are not an American are you," Bill remarked at Mr Young’s accent, "correctomundo, I'm almost as British as you are, I'm from your Commonwealth, Toronto as a matter of fact," he put his face right up to the grill, and with a mocking tone he proclaimed "that's in Canada don't you know ," Bill, not wishing to be beaten, "is that so, well I never, who'd have thought", Mr Young let out a laugh that was more of an acknowledgement to his new friend, "jeez, you Brit's fucking kill me man, you kill me," and with a wink and a glint in his eye, "right then, where do you want to go Bill," Bill shook his head, "why does everybody I meet seem to know my name, I'm a desert virgin who has never been this way in his life, a newbie for Christ's sake, smiling as he looked at him and nodding in agreement ,Mr Young went on, "Holy Moly, you yak on more than my old lady!", he left the ticket booth and met Bill outside by the counter, "look hombre, you are here because you want to be here, we knew you were coming one day, so just go with the flow buddy, you got to keep moving, remember, rust never sleeps", Bill looked up at him in realisation as to who Shakey, Mr Young, really was! Lost for the right thing to say, Mr Young slapped Bill on the shoulder', "you like that phrase, that's one of mine!" Wondering what he was talking about Bill asked, "One of yours? What might that be?" Letting the door close behind him, "fucking hell dude!, rust of course, you gotta get with the programme if you want to ride with me!", getting more puzzled with each passing second Bill looked at Mr Young, "I'm riding with... you? Where are we going?" Grabbing Bill's arm Mr Young announced, "Who knows, who cares, wherever that old bus wants to go, you do want to find your soul don't you?" Looking over to where Mr Young was pointing, there in front of the small station house across the other side of the track from them was a beautiful albeit, dust covered 1955 Cadillac, no ordinary Caddy, for what was unfolding as no ordinary road trip, this was a hearse! "'Ain't she a beauty", said a proud Mr Young, "got her cheap, well actually, the funeral home were glad to get shot of her, she was kind of from another time, not in keeping with the image they wanted to project, they felt she would not look right in the Goddamn virtual brochure they had on their Web site,  fucking stupid if you ask me, a goddamn van would do the same job anyway, let's be honest, most passengers could not give a shit as long as it is black I suppose, then suddenly Mr Young stopped  and threw back an arm to prevent Bill passing him, he appeared to be having some kind of epiphany, this alarmed Bill, he thought that he was about to witness a seizure!  Mr Young turned around and proclaimed, "you know what, there has got to be a fucking song in there somewhere, what do you reckon hombre"!. After a few seconds had passed, Mr Young continued walking on and recounting the story of the hearse, "so she cost me next to nothing and I really like nothing, so we struck a deal,  I picked her up, filled her up and...ta-dah! "So, you coming or what, we should make the desert road before nightfall!" Bill felt like his mind had already been made up for him, "OK, let's go, but before we head out, is there a store nearby, I need to pick up a few things!" Pleased that he had a companion for the trip, Mr Young turned and walked up to Bill, "we shall call in to old man Crosby, he runs a store just as highway  21  joins the desert road, if he 'ain't  got it, believe me, you sure as hell don't need it!".
    The highway was little more than just a wide road that seemed to go for miles straight ahead into the shimmering heat haze, at least it was a relatively smooth stretch of black top, Bill thought to himself that there can't be many smooth and quieter forms of transport to be in like the one he was in, a hearse! For a vehicle of this age he was amazed at just how immaculate it was, from the steering wheel that was the size of a trash can's lid, the gentle clunk coming from the column auto change, the dials that still all appeared to work, the glass on the dials perfect, the maroon leather bench seat, this thing just purred back to a bygone time, mind you, Bill was a little uneasy about the beautiful, shiny wooden platform behind them, with its chrome runners and ornate bars each side, after all, this had until recently had to earn it's keep, this was a vehicle used for business!! During the journey to Crosby's Store, Mr Young insisted on Bill being the first to listen to a couple of songs, "Help me out here will you Bill, reach over to that box of my stuff, there is a small tape player with a tape of some stuff I want you to hear," Bill obliged and finally touched hold of a cheap little tape player with a speaker gaffer taped to it, "is this what you mean?" Bill stared at the botched up piece of tech in his hand not knowing whether or not to throw it from the open window of the 'Caddy or hand it to Mr Young, no need, Mr Young grabbed it from his grasp, "that... my friend, is a little piece of magic, just six AAA batteries and BAM!, all I need to lay down some of my thoughts!" After pushing a button on the top, with the word PLAY in tippex, Bill thought that was a bit strange, why would he need reminding which button to push, there were only three, presumably they were the regular, Stop, Start, Rewind and although the forth button was missing it must have said Forward, where is the problem he thought! 
  "OK Billy Boy, check this out and don't hold back, tell it like it is, as long as you say it is good that is, if you don't, I'll just have to kill you", Mr Young yet again roared off laughing at his own remark, " had you there, only kidding", it's Monday today, I never kill on a Monday, just a little quirk of mine! Bill fell back into the big bench seat of the 'Caddy, "that is just as well dude, Monday is a bad day for me anyway,  actually any day that ends in 'Y', so that makes us even I reckon!" Mr Young, staring straight ahead and holding the steering wheel dead still  with one hand, punched  Bill on the arm with the other, "you fucking Brit's, you are just so 'off the wall', love you Man, now listen to this, he pressed the start button and soon a tune came through the speaker.  Although Mr Young's voice was not to everyone's taste, it was haunting and seemed to go with the landscape, Bill found himself captivated, hanging on to every word that was uttered, something just seemed to hit home, it seemed to dig into his very soul, perhaps the soul he was searching for! When it had finished, Mr Young turned to him, "well, what do you think, good 'ain't it! Bill was still mulling over the words in his head, "What's it about, who is it about, fuck me man, what is it called?" Mr young looked ahead and appeared to be giving it some thought, "do you know what, I'm fucked if I know, perhaps you could help me out on that one? Bill seemed honoured in some way but very confused, "I think it's about an angel or maybe a witch in the desert and there is a fire that this dreamer type of guy who is really a free spirit but he's trapped in some way, he just wants to cut loose, so anyway he sees this fire, this light in the distance, that leads him to the other side of those hills that lead to the Canyons which  is where he has to go and she, this witchy woman, is  lighting his way, I think, kind of , maybe", Bill gazed out of the window as they purred along the blacktop, it was then that Mr young, slowly brought the hearse to a stop, turning slowly, he looked straight into Bill's eyes, “How the fuck did you know that hombre?, best you tell me how it fucking ends, he said quietly, because I'm stumped but it would appear that you are pretty well there, that is virtually spot on!" Bill looked down to his scuffed and battered fire trap boots in the foot well and then continued, " I don't know, but somehow I do, does that make sense, and anyway, never mind all that, you still have not told me, how the fuck do you know my name is Bill!"., drumming the huge steering wheel, Mr Young just smiled knowingly and holding out a hand he said simply, "we're here, Bill, I give you...Crosby's Store!"
Like a dust bowl relic from those black and white days, there it stood, the store, or was it a shack or more like a stand, whatever, according to Mr Young this guy Crosby,  he sells it all, they both got out of the 'Caddy and walked over towards the door!
    "Hey Croz you old bastard, get your arse out here, someone I want you to meet!" Bill was stood behind Mr Young and waited for the next move of this road trip to play out! "Who you calling an old bastard, last person to call me that was....my mom, no, wait a minute”, he paused to think for a few seconds, “no, it was my third wife and she was a bitch, she never understood me”, they just looked at each other, burst out laughing and hugged one and other the way old friends do. "Ok you old fence jumper you, what brings you here, is it my wine, my woman, my songs or maybe you need a bit of my weed, you always want some of my weed, it's a good job we are amigos or I would tell you to go and, I don't know, phone Elvis or something," Mr Young pulled his friend close, "I tried that but ain't you heard", Croz stepped back and looked his friend straight in the eye, "heard, heard what?", looking around him, Mr Young quietly replied, "I tried that but he must have gone ex-directory, because he sure ain't picking up, reckon he ‘aint home!" With that the two friends burst out laughing, Bill started to laugh too, not at the joke but at the two men in front of him so obviously the best of friends aching  with laughter! A few minutes later when the laughter had subsided Croz turned towards this 'new' stranger, "so you are Bill are you, we knew you would come see us some day," Bill had by now given up, they 'all' knew him, they 'all' knew he was coming and they 'all' knew why, except Bill of course! 
    "He needs some supplies for his ruck sack, what ya got to make him smell a bit nicer", said Mr Young whilst thumbing through the latest copy of Motor Trend, "you are going to pay for that I hope", barked Croz, "this 'ain't no library, I've got to make a living you know", Mr Young raised his eyebrows,"OK,ok, I’ll put it in the bag with his  stuff, he'll pay", he said winking to Croz. Bill had been filling a basket with all of the things that he needed or 'thought' that he needed, deodorant for a start, some toothpaste and mouthwash, a couple of litre bottles of still water, he then started to scour the shelves for things to eat on the trip! A big bag of potato chips for starters, some peanuts, fruit he thought, got to pick up some fruit, it's been a while, don't want to get scurvy, he smiled to himself as he saw a stand with apples and bananas, Christ those Melons look good and so do the grapefruit, he was just about to pick one of each up when he remembered, no knife, "shit, that rules them out", he turned to Mr Young who was tapping him on the shoulder and  reading his mind it would seem, he was pointing to another display stand of hardware, "this what you want amigo?" There in a big display bucket were some packs of plastic cutlery including a larger, sharper knife that was more than adequate to take on a grapefruit! "Make sure you pick up two of everything won't you", said Mr Young , "two, why two, are they that disposable," said Bill  quizzically , "no, I just thought that they look far too big for one person, so,  I don't mind if I join you, as long as you don't mind that is" , he said with a wink while looking over Bills shoulder at a stand containing some Snickers and Mars Bars, "they look good too, grab a handful  of them, got to keep up our sugar levels, I reckon we should grab a cup of Joe while we are here, got to have that caffeine buzz this time of day."' Bill pulled out his wallet ready to pay, "Is there anything else while you are at it", he said smiling and shaking his head," do you know what Billy boy, I think that's it, Croz add this lot will you, I think we are just about good to go". Croz looked at the basket of supplies, "OK, let's see, health and beauty products, deodorant, toothpaste, mouthwash," he then picked up a small canister of floss and looked over firstly to Bill then over to Mr Young, laughing he said, "jeez man, you’re going on a road trip not Club Med but I suppose you want to look good for the Coyotes and the Vultures," again he laughed, Mr Young rolled his eyes into the top of his hat, "come on man, leave the guy alone, he knows what he wants, and he just wants to look good before they bite his arse"', both men roared with laughter, at Bills expense of course, Bill just smiled and shook his head, "yeah, yeah how much do I owe you," he said as he pulled two twenties and a ten dollar bill out of his wallet, Croz seemed to just scan his eyes over the basket, mentally adding it all up, then looking at the notes in Bills hand," keep on looking 'cos you still have a bit more to spend and I 'ain't got no change so you just carry on looking and buying"! Bill carried on looking around and saw some matches, always handy,  then a torch, "you'll need these then", said Mr Young tossing over a couple packs of long life batteries, "will it be ok for me to buy a couple of tapes for that machine thing of yours", he asked Mr Young, "knock yourself out, as long as there is no polka or disco shit, think of my ears too!" Bill started to wade his way through the bargain bin, some Doobies and a JD Souther and Laura Nyro, Christ he thought, this is a nice selection and so cheap, Dennis Wilson, “oh man” he said out loud, “this just gets better and better”, Blood On The Tracks, he remembered that somewhere back in his past he had the album! He had nearly finished tape flicking when Mr Young threw him a couple of tapes, "got to have these in your bag", Bill looked at the tapes, Joni Mitchell, Ladies of the Canyon and the other tape he did not recognise, he turned it over and smiled, Harvest by Neil Young, he looked up at Mr Young who winked at him and smiled, "I reckon you might like that one, one of my best even if I say so myself!" Croz had done his adding up, "if you give me $50 that should be fine, Bill looked at him and said, "are you sure, that's a lot of stuff there, Croz looked over to his old friend, "is this guy for real, does he want me to give him a goddamn receipt?" He turned and went up to Bill and staring him in the face, "Bill, I like you, you seem like a real nice guy, such a good guy, I'm going to let you have this lot for nothing, ok with you?” Bill was flabbergasted, why should this guy who he hardly knew be so, charitable, so nice, Mr Young brushed up alongside Bill, "he can afford it, load it all up, say thank you like a good boy and we'll get the fuck out of here and head for the desert and go find that Witchy Woman, what do you say"! Bill looked at Mr Young then at the man loading up his rucksack,  "excuse me but, you are who I think you are aren't you," Croz smiled, "man, I am whoever you want me to be," Croz then turned to Mr Young, his thick, white hair and drooping moustache almost appeared to be silver in the sunlight, laughing to his old friend,"you best tell him that Croz is short for Crosby not Custer!" Both men gently butted heads and laughed at the comment," I reckon he knows who you are, holy fuck, I think he even knows who I am by now," Croz pulled away and looked at Bill as he packed his rucksack, "I suppose you are right but does he know who he is, does he know what he wants and who the hell this Witchy Woman is?"

To be continued..........





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